83 Answers

Can I please ask the mums for advice about broaching the subject with a family member about the behaviours of their child? He is an only child and bigger and older than most kids he comes in contact with including my son. He is loud to the point where I can’t hear his mother when I speak to her, he is constantly running around my house with no respect for our belongings, he trashes my sons room within minutes of being here and worst of all, he hits, kicks and pulls my sons hair and treats our dog exactly the same! He is uncontrollable and what is worse is that even when I pull him up on something in front of his mother she won’t say anything to him if he does it again and I am worried about what it will do to our relationship if it continues. I can see this behaviour rubbing off on my son who is younger than him and at that ‘copying stage’. I don’t like my son acting that way and he doesn’t when he plays with other kids, but it is near impossible to discipline him when the other child is doing it and nothing is said to him. Please help, my husband and I are at the stage where we no longer want them around as it is just too stressful. I just don’t know what to do.

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  • In your house you can set the rules. So when he is at your place you certainly can tell him no running or no touching this or that please. When he trashes your son’s room, you certainly tell “I’m happy for you guys to have fun, but I also would like you to tidy before you leave” . When toys aren’t treated with respect, I would certainly take them away and tell “we treat our belongings with respect”. When he’s too loud, you could say in general “guys, soft voice please”.
    When you do these things with mum around she get’s already a hint. Then you could wait for a bit and bring it openly up in a conversation. Alternatively, you could catch up in a park or other neutral please and steer away from home

  • I’d love to know how you handled this situation.

  • You could try talking, but it seems it might be an uphill battle. It may come to you having to asker her to not bring her child to visit anymore

  • I agree with the MoMs who have said you have to be honest with the boy’s mother and tell her how you feel.

  • If you’re friends, a quiet chat about things could help. A lot if people don’t like being criticised for their parenting tho, so it could go awol. You have to decide which you want, you say you’re nearly at the stage if not wanting her to visit anymore, so the chat might be a better way of achieving this

  • tell her how you feel!! my boy is also a nightmare and its affected a lot of my friendships .no one wants to come over or meet for play dates as he is too rough. don’t make up excuses. people want the truth and they want advice. she may need some help.

  • Sometimes, unfortunately, you have to be honest. Tell your Family member that you and your husband have rules in the house and you would appreciate it if your Family member would back you up on the discipline of their child. It’s your house, it’s your rules. That’s the thing with some parents, it’s easier for someone else to do the ‘Bad Guy’ thing. Even saying to the person, ‘I’d appreciate it if you could make sure he stops hurting my child.’ After all, you are a Mumma Bear wanting to protect your child. No child should get away with hitting and hurting other children. No matter what the other parent thinks!

  • Be patient and goodluck.x

  • I would speak directly to the child, try saying something along the lines of “hey buddy we dont do that in this house, we like to be gentle and respectful” It hard, some women have blinkers on!

  • don’t have her come and visit anymore. You go to her place instead.

  • Has he been diagnosed with anything? This sounds like aspergers or a reaction to preservatives, additives and colours in foods which ive seen cause behaviour like that. Very compulsive behaviour.

  • It’s sad but I can totally relate

  • Tell his mother and if his behaviour continues you should put a stop to his visits

  • I would be honest. If u don’t u might just avoid and never talk to them much again

  • dont ask them over. meet them in a public place like a park or coffee shop

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