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Hi just wondering if your readers could offer some advice as I’m at a loss. My sons father made a choice not to be in his life, I knew a day would come when my son would ask about him, I just never expected it so soon. He is only 2 and he told me he was sad, when I asked why he said “I sad because I cant find my dad” I just picked him up and said don’t be sad mummy is here as I was very taken aback by this, how do I tell a two year old his dad was not the man mum wanted and therefore he did not want to be in my sons life? **Please be respectful with your responses.

Posted by anon, 12/06/13

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  • It is a hard situation, sounds like you also need some support. I hope you have worked out the best way for you both and have the support you need.


  • This is so awful.
    I know many wonderful Daddys who are not allowed to see their children because things didn’t work out with Mummy & as pay back Mummy says no.
    This man has the opportunity to be apart of his life & chooses not to!
    It’s horrible!

    You should explain to your son that he is very very lucky because you are his Mummy & his Daddy! Make it sound very exciting & express how special this situation is.
    Don’t cover for this dead beat Dad!
    When your son is old enough you can explain the whole truth to him, for now keep it simple.
    Best of luck.


  • Wow, what a sad situation to be in. As he’s only 2, keep it simple, maybe have a photo of dad so he knows he has a dad, and explain he can’t be here just now but still loves him a lot. Add more info as he grows and is more able to understand


  • Have photo of his dad to show him/her and say he had to go away but he still loves you very much. No big answer just enough to let him know he has a dad


  • Just let him know that you are his mummy and daddy, :) x poor thing!


  • what an awful situation for you and so hard at his age to explain things….good luck god bless


  • I hope these answers have helped u


  • I hope things improve and a relative could help be a father figure for him


  • Really tough one. I thinks u r lucky in this day n age. A lot of fathers are not around. But back in the days there were actual families. Now it’s all different. My daughter sees my dad as a father figure! Which is really nice.
    U can’t say his dad was not the one u wanted as it gives him the thought that it might b ur fault. Which it sounds like its a selfish man. Who is missing out on a beautiful family!


  • Ask a male relative or friend to take him out for a little while to kick a ball etc


  • How did you tell him?


  • I hope everything is working out well for you and your little boy :)


  • Tell him confidently that you are both his mummy and dad and you love him twice as much because of this.


  • Maybe tell him you are so lucky to have him and he is lucky to have you – when someone has at least one very special mummy (or daddy) in their life that is what really matters. Mention to him some other kids don’t have mummies and they are lucky to have a daddy, and that like your son they too are lucky to at least have one special parent in their life that loves them very much. As others have mentioned, be gently honest but keep it simple.


  • Do you know anyone who could be a positive male role model??


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