20 Answers

I am a light sleeper and find it difficult to get to sleep. My husband snores loudly. We have slept separately for a long time and I hate it. I hae tried ear plugs, white noise you name it. I can’t put up with the snoring. I think he may have sleep apnoea but he won’t do anything about it and ses it as my problem. Does anyone have any ideas on how we can share a bed again?


Posted anonymously, 6th October 2015


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  • he needs a sleep apnoea test


  • Continuous Positive Airflow Pressure (CPAP) is the most common treatment for moderate to severe obstructive sleep apnea. The CPAP device is a mask-like machine that covers your nose and mouth, providing a constant stream of air that keeps your breathing passages open while you sleep. That’s what a doctor would suggest.

    There is a really interesting site here http://www.mynaturesrite.com/sleep-apnea.php . It talks about the causes of sleep apnea and natural treatments with herbs such as chamomile and thyme


  • My hubby too, and he grinds his teeth. It’s worse when he’s really tired or had a couple of beers. If he wakes me up, I head off to the spare bedroom. If he doesn’t…..it’s all good


  • i agree get him to go and see a specialist. there are so many experiences here that this seems to be a common issue that people are dealing with


  • I feel for you. Mine does too but only some nights.


  • Do you know if he momentarily stops breathing at all? I know a guy who has sleep aponea. He wouldn’t believe his wife that he stopped breathing for a few seconds. One weekend a friend of his slept there when they were all going out early the next morning. He counted approx. 10 seconds of no breathing. They convinced him to go and have tests. He was told he either had to get a CPAP machine and use or he better order a “box” ready. That’s how dangerous it was.


  • If you suspect sleep apnoea, you really need to convince him to have a sleep study. There are huge risk factors including stroke if left untreated. I didn’t know how serious it was until my husband finally got diagnosed and agreed to use a CPAP machine (took lots of convincing first). We hired a few different machines through the sleep technologist before buying one. Some were noisy, others were not at all. He also tried several different face masks and found one that is only nasal prongs that works well for him and comfortable. Now I find hubby doesn’t snore at all and the only noise is if he bumps the mask off in his sleep (and that is very rare), I will hear some air blowing but hubby usually wakes and fixes it immediately. The machine he bought is a RESMED AIRSENSE 10. It was a little dearer than some but also has an adaptor to run on 12 volts when we’re camping.


  • This was a problem to me a few years ago and what I did was use an old wind up clock. I waited til my husband went to sleep and then rolled him on his side and placed the clock right up against his back and this stopped him from rolling onto his back. Worked for me.


  • Looks as though you have tried just about everything. My hubby also tried the CPAP machine, but neither of us could sleep with that noise either.
    The one thing that helped us was my hubby losing weight – the doctor and dentist said when he lost weight off his tummy area, he also lost some of the fat inside his mouth so his airways were more open and the snoring stopped quite a bit.
    Alcohol will also increase the snoring problem. Hope this helps


  • I take my kindle or portable CD player to bed and connect earphones. Depending on how loud the snoring is, it either disguises it totally or partially. Either way it is much easier to cope with. Good luck!


  • Oh I feel your pain. I hold his nose so he can’t breath. This really irritates him. Pay back for irritating me. But if he’s tired all the time he should go to the doctor, sleep apnea can have some really bad side effects later in life and is relatively easy to fix


  • This is not healthy for your marriage!
    You need to sit your husband down & explain the serious effects this could have on your marriage, as well as his health!
    I strongly suggest a chat with your GP & a sleep study.
    Perhaps agree to undergo a sleep study yourself so he doesn’t feel that this is all him, you’re being tested as well.
    I hope things improve & you are back to sharing a bed happily soon.


  • I feel your pain! Even when I wake my hubby to tell him to be quiet (not quite that politely) he falls asleep in 30 seconds and starts snoring again! Drives me nuts.


  • KELC – a sleep study is a terrific idea! Might be a good for the Mum’s hubby too?


  • I have no advice sorry as my hubby is a snorer/very loud breather. He doesn’t sleep in our bed but that’s for kid related reasons but when he does I kick the hell out of him!
    Mine is getting a sleep study done due to other health issues but he’s hoping that will help the snoring too.
    Apart from kicking them maybe try get him to sleep on his side. I know it’s hard when they’re asleep though.
    Good Luck x


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