13 Answers

I’m not too worried about shyness but our almost 2 year old is so shy around anyone but us. She eventually comes out of her shell if you give her time and let her come to you but some family members not understand this and even if you try and tell them they still over step and tell her ‘you shouldn’t be shy we’re family.’ It drives me crazy that they are already shaming her for being her. And they blame me for not letting other people watch her and that’s caused her shyness.
You can never win :(

Posted anonymously, 28th April 2021

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  • Also; children need to be respected as individuals with the right to choose how they respond. If a child is reserved that is fine; they should indeed choose how they respond. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being quiet.

  • Children are all different and with their own unique personalities. Children should not be shamed for being themselves.

  • It gets better as they get older. I took my daughter to a variety of things to expose her to more people and situations. Eventually identified she had some anxious behaviours and sought help from a child psychologists although I have heard occupational therapists can assist also. Having people in her face telling her she is shy gives her a label to hide behind, unfortunately that is what family often do. My family would speak loudly and not get on her level (crouch down) which compounded the situation. I used small things like coaching (telling her what to say, role play situations, etc), getting her to say please, thank you to shop keepers, librarians etc, and lots of praise.

  • My kids are like that…the more we are going out and they have a chance to interact with strangesr they are starting to talk a little bit bit not to much

  • I explain that my child hasn’t spent enough time with them so If they want him to stop being so shy with them they need to spend more time with him. My mother in law was the worst for it, she didn’t understand that he barely knew her, he’s 18 months and still has days with her because she barely sees him..

  • I hear you! My kids are the same. It takes time. My oldest 3 was the biggest shy baby for a long time and now she’s 3.5 and has come out of her shell so much, give her time.

  • I don’t think there is anything wrong with it at that age. She is cautious, especially with those she’s doesn’t know too well

  • I think you’re right not to worry too much about this. As for your family, keep reminding them not to push force her and to just give her time. When they don’t take your advice on board I would suggest a more serious chat with them to explain how you and your daughter are feeling about this. You’re the mum and know best !

  • Ask them to let her be her and she will come around. When they say things like that I’d be like ‘that doesn’t help. What helps is just letting her warm up.and after time the time it takes will reduce’

  • You can’t push her she will come around and maybe you need to make a effort of visiting them more for her to get used of them, and as she is only two I wouldn’t worry about her they all go through different stages growing up.

  • You just have to keep reminding them that she will warm up after a while and to show some empathy for her. She’s only 2. xx

  • My toddler is exactly the same! She turns 2 next month and just screams and cries when someone that isn’t me, her father or grandmother comes near her.
    I always thought of it as a good thing because stranger danger and all but it is a bit hard when it’s other family members like aunties or uncles.
    But like yourself, I just give her time to adjust to them.
    I’m guessing she will eventually grow out of it.
    I would tell my family to just leave her be. You’re the mother so you really should be able to raise her how you want – if you want to spend all the time with her, then you should as when they’re older you won’t have that time anymore!

  • You sound like you know this, but it’s a pretty normal phase around the toddler years. You’re right not to be too worried. As for your family, maybe you should just say “don’t tell her how to feel” when they bring it up.

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