Hello!

24 Answers

Mamas PLEASE HELP!

My husband falls asleep every single time I’m in labour- well, apart from the first time I must admit!

He’s an excellent support person, however, I find it tremendously challenging to keep waking him up AND delivering a baby at the same time.

How do you keep your support person entertained enough to stay awake during birthing? I mean I’ve tried everything they mentioned in the books like telling him he’s beautiful, he’s going to be alright etc etc but as of baby number seven NONE of those tactics actually worked AND birthing whilst assuring him that I like him is incredibly challenging as I feel so breathless!

I’m desperate for him to pay attention this time around… without any “wake up” prompts from me!

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated please


Posted by someonesmother, 26th August 2020


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  • I don’t think I’d be too worried. I’d let him sleep and focus on the midwife and nurses.


  • You shouldn’t have to worry about entertaining your husband while you are in labour. If he can’t stay awake I’d just let him sleep until you don’t have long to go then get the midwife to wake him up.


  • Lordy me, if my partner did that he would know he would be a dead man when he woke up. Have a frank chat with him that it his way of helping you to stay awake!!!


  • Dear girl, you have enough to focus on giving birth without worrying about what your partner is doing. If he’s not interested enough to keep himself awake, that’s his loss although at baby number 8, he probably feels like he’s seen it all beside. He should be supporting and encouraging you, not the other way round


  • I think sometimes we forget we can’t fall asleep because of the pain and the build up of the natural endorphins we have pumping through our bodies when in labour. Maybe have a second support person and let him sleep in the early stages so he can be really present when you need him most. My husband always said the worst thing about the whole birthing process was watching me in pain for so long and not being able to do anything other than hold my hand, rub my back and tell me how proud he was of me which he knows did nothing to stop the pain. It is a very emotionally and draining experience for our support people and for a father he then has the added overwhelming emotions of a new little human in his hands. We are built for this, both physically and emotionally…men are not and with the way my husband carries on when he stubs his toe its a blessing he didn’t have to go through labour :)


  • Think back to the days when the Dad wasn’t allowed to stay at all? They were sent home although some waited in the waiting room if there was one. I know one Dad who fell asleep for awhile after he had done a long shift at work (heavy manual work) and only just got drowsy just as his wife went into labour and it was time to take her to the hospital. Her drove her to the hospital then fell asleep for about 4 hours then woke of his accord but felt guilty.


  • Ask him to read you a book?? Hold his hand and when he falls asleep, pinch him hard, especially at the under arm area, those will be painful. Hahaha… Good luck with the next labour!


  • How is he falling asleep? I know that its a long wait for them….. but maybe get him to interact with you….. holding your hand, rubbing your back etc. maybe just get him to sleep until you are in full labour…..


  • Why do you have to make him feel good or reassure him.. ?? Sorry from what you have described I would be getting a new support person as I don’t understand how he is an “excellent support person”


  • Screaming doesn’t work? Try throwing things at him (obviously not anything super dangerous). Set his watch/phone alarm to go off every ten minutes. Ask a nurse to poke him regularly.


  • Same happened to me. I asked the nurse to empty a glass of water in his head


  • I’d love to see him attached to that belt that simulates labour and see how he goes. Unfortunately I can’t see him changing and why should you have to keep reassuring him. Just tell him if he doesn’t enjoy this part maybe he should stop making babies. Maybe you need someone better to be your birthing partner? Wish you good luck in making him stay awake.


  • Ooh, really? Maybe he needs to feel a little bit of labour pain. Taser? strap him down to the bed? Or perhaps he just shouldn’t waste his time being there. Clearly not much support.


  • Oh no! One of the extendable arms? Wake him up from your bed! ????


  • Some nice answers ;)


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