98 Answers

Hi MOM I have a question I’d like to see what other parents do to help make things smoother in my situation … My partner (not my kids father) is struggling with my 9 yr old daughter back chatting all the time simple things like asking her to come out of rain her reply no I’m having fun … This then becoming a back and forward argument until he gives up or comes to me stressed because he feels like she doesn’t respect him … I don’t think this is the case I think she is just testing him and kids will be kids type of attitude but what advice is there for a new step parent to feel like they are exactly that a “parent” or make it easier to deal with children just being difficult?

Posted by anon 20.2.2013

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  • 1. I think it’s very important to be neutral
    2. State what she does and state what behaviour you would like to see (you’re not listening, I would like you to listen)
    3. When she continues to make it into a power game, I would suggest turn around and ignore cause she’s out on reaction

  • That’s a hard one sons girls start earlier .. Than others with this .. My daughter was the same … But I learnt to ignore her and don’t feed the negative attention she’s craving … Sooner or later she will find it boring as it’s taking no effect on you .. Staying calm is the key

  • Interesting read. I have a Miss 9 as well who sounds the same. This has given me a few ideas. Thanks

  • I hope you have worked out how to stop the back chatting.

  • I hope things have improved over time. But when he gives up she wins so you need to change that.

  • I hope everyone adjusted after your difficult time

  • maybe you should get him to do something with your daughter .. maybe go to the movies or something similar

  • Maybe try sitting down with her and having a chat. Find out of anything is going on in her life. Ask her why she chooses to be difficult for your partner. She’s at an age where she should be able to answer your questions and give you some sort of idea of whats going on so that you can find a suitable solution

  • I hope things have improved otherwise it could become very stressful for the family

  • I think jus b nice but stern and done let them walk all over him. He needs to hold his ground. They will understand soon enough

  • I hope things have improved for you. My four year old has become the back-chatting queen lately, I can only imagine how frustrating it has been for you and your partner.

  • I think you need to shut down the back and forth and not let them wind each other up!

  • I guess the first thing that came to my ind was respect. She needs to learn ow to respect anyone older than er

  • I couldn’t imagine being in the middle.

  • Kids understand the rules, but they don’t always understand the rules under different authority figures. Have a chat about who is in charge of her, and the benefits of this e.g. when someone is in charge, they are also responsible for safety- make her understand that being in charge carries benefits to her.

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