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The father of my daughter has passed away and I don’t know how to get it through to her, I don’t know what to say when she asks for him except that he is gone and never coming back. Can anyone offer some advice please.


Posted anonymously, 11th August 2015


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  • Yes, reading your question I wondered as well my how old your daugther is. I noticed as well you talk about the father of your daughter and not of your partner/husband suggesting you weren’t together anymore.
    I agree to be open with your daughter and depending how close you and she were to him this will be harder or easier to process. Get help when you feel you need it !


  • Be open and Honest with her as you did not mention her age it’s hard


  • You don’t mention the age of your daughter, which would be helpful when offering you advice, you also don’t mention whether you are separated from him. Which doesn’t make a lot of difference, but could help


  • Luckily, my kids never experienced this. My nieces did though. My sister sat them on her lap and said dad had a heart attack and they couldn’t save him. They were 9 and 11 so they understood. It helped that they were surrounded by loving family at the time of being told and for the following months


  • You did not say how old your child is? so that makes a difference as to there ability to understand.My advice if asked where Daddy has gone, is to say that he was very ill and had to go, to heaven or become a twinkling star that watches over you at night, always with you as he loved you very much but was to hard for him to stay, always in your heart anyway. Used to talk and still do to my Dad in thought. As he was special to me,feel with me still and talk about him and fun times we shared


  • I am so so sorry for your loss. Perhaps contact a child psychologist or counsellor to help guide you both through this difficult time.


  • I am so terribly sorry for yours & your daughters loss.
    I can not even begin to imagine what you both are going through.
    Books are helpful but if your daughter is school age perhaps they have a counsellor they could offer?
    You could also make a special rememberance place in your garden for your daughter to go to when she wants to be close to her Dad. Get her to make it with you the way she wants it to be, it will help with her grieving & acceptance.
    It must be very hard for her to accept her Dad is not coming back, be patient, it’s not going to happen over night. Be there for one another & support one another, I am sure that would be what he would have wanted.
    Best of luck.


  • Such a crappy situation. Don’t know what else to say.. Speechless. Sorry :-(


  • I am so sorry for your loss, I could not imagine how hard it must be for you especially when your child asks for their dad. My thoughts are with you xx


  • I’m really so sorry for your loss. I can see some suggestions,


  • Sending love and hugs your way SHELLEY SHELLEY, and hoping all the responses from the moms has helped…Naomi link is wonderful.
    All the very best to you and your little princess. xx


  • Thank you Naomi, I will look it up. Very much appreciated x


  • I’m so sorry for your loss. You have been given great suggestions from MOMs. I don’t know your daughters age, but there are books available to help


  • explain to your child in age appropriate terms. Keep it simple.


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