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Earlier this year I was hosting a birthday party for a family member.

Roughly two hours prior to the party starting, one of the guests arrived. I felt slightly relieved thinking that I had an extra pair of hands to help me with my eight kids… boy oh boy was I wrong!

She produced a MASSIVE basket of laundry and said she was doing me a favour by coming early to drop off her clothing so that I could wash, dry and have them ready for her to take with her after the party.

I was irritated, because I still had three mains to cook as well as decorating to do- but I wasn’t going to let it ruin the party vibe.

During the party she asked me how her clothes were going and one of the guests heard and then asked if I would do theirs as well- I seriously thought they were joking. I mean WHO drives around with dirty clothes in their car?! But they weren’t kidding.

They dashed outside and came back in with more washing for me to do- DURING the party.

I got it all done, and much later I did mention to them that I am not really fond of laundry so as to try and deter the same thing from happening in the future.

Recently a similar thing happened, except I had exam on and the day before the exam they wanted me to wash a massive load of laundry and have it ready for them to pick up that same night.

I know this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it is when I already have a family of ten to launder clothing for.

They said that I shouldn’t make a big deal about it because it’s just laundry and all I am is a stay at home mum so they’re providing me with things to do because I do nothing all day- I can’t tell if this hurts me because the truth hurts or whether what they’re saying is actually really hurtful.

It’s just clothes, I completely understand, but they most certainly wouldn’t be washing laundry for me, ever. So why is it supposed to be tolerable for me to do their laundry just because all I am is a stay at home mum and just because they feel they’re too busy to wash their own clothing?

Surprisingly I actually do stuff- admittedly I don’t know exactly what that ‘stuff’ is, but just the regular things that all parents do I guess.

Am I being unreasonable not wanting to take on their extra loads?

Sure, most of us would do anything for family, but where does one draw the line?

Would you allow your family to place you in the same position- or would you tell them to just do it themselves- especially if they’re only making you do it because they hate doing it themselves as it takes too much time away from more fun life experiences for them, whereas they see laundry as your duty as just a stay at home mum?


Posted by someonesmother, 29th March 2021


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  • Oh my word. get some new friends! no it is not ok! If they drop off stuff for you to do, give them something to do in return. Like, oh ill do your laundry if you do my dishes, or make the beds or something. Or drop them stuff when you visit them and see how they like it! the nerve of some people


  • No way !! Just say “thanks but no thank you’ !


  • I wouldn’t! I don’t get anyone else to do my own laundry (have been doing it since I was 14) so definitely wouldn’t do anyone else’s (other than my faughters and husband’s in with my own washing).
    Pretty rude of them to not just ask you to do it but to ask you to do it during a party and saying they’re doing you a favour!


  • What in the world! No ma’am, no way! We are a house of 7 with 5 kids and I work part time, I used to be a SAHM and I honestly couldn’t go back – it’s HARD work being a stay at home mum. NO it’s not ok getting you to do their washing, who are these people to you? I don’t think it even matters who they are, that is still super disrespectful. Your life is no less important than theirs. Please just say no, i’m busy. If they keep trying, just don’t get it done.


  • This is for
    Housework 27
    May be you n hubby should say something to your daughter
    But in a nice way like
    Its time you really thought about your life n boyfriend
    You cant keep coming home when you feel like it
    Just to have me wash your clothes
    Maybe its time you packed your bags
    Your an adult now


  • Why should you have to wash their clothes when they don’t live with you. First off they’d need to supply washing detergent and softener, then they’d have to pay so much per load and if they wanted it folded and ironed then that would cost more. Put your foot down and soon enough they’ll decide it’s either cheaper to do it themselves or take it to the drycleaners. I must admit my family would never expect this of me. Good luck


  • I am very curious as to who this family member is to you? I cannot fathom anyone expecting the same from me particularly in the manner they have “asked”. I would decline purely based on how they expected and thought it was ok, and subsequent rude comments, and I generally love helping people


  • I absolutely wouldn’t go this far, as the prize would be your own family and yourself


  • Two answers to that … Firstly; Say that you are too busy -You have 8 kids !!!
    Second, Gently (?) tell them “This is insane behaviour (to ask me to wash your clothes) , go away and be mad elsewhere”.
    Continuing to meet their rude expectations is not doing your own family (kids and partner) any good. You are not being selfish/ lazy/etc, but instead loving by not giving in to their requests; you are being a loving person helping them to grow into mature, kind individuals – which they obviously aren’t and equally obviously need a loving person to help them achieve. Good Luck !


  • Absolutely not. They are totally taking advantage of you and they are so rude! How dare they suggest you have nothing else to do as a stay at home mum. Every mother knows there is always a million things to do. I would definately put a stop to this.


  • First off, by you doing their laundry, you have unwittingly set the tone for what they expect. If you don’t want to do their laundry and after telling them you aren’t doing it, they still drop their laundry off, try this. Put 2 loads of washing in the machine put the washing powder on top and when it comes out with the powder all over the clothes just hang the clothes on the line and give it back to them. They will not ask you or expect you to do it again. My husband did that over 30 years ago as he thought he was economising by adding 2 loads instead of 1. He has never been allowed near the washer since. What does your husband say about all of this? If your relatives still continue bring their laundry around. Don’t wash theirs and take yours to their place. If you enjoy doing their laundry because you think you are “only a stay at home mum” by all means continue to do it. But by thinking you are JUST a “STAY at HOME MUM” you are seriously undermining your own potential.


  • OMG! At first I thought this was a joke. How rude and disrespectful these people are. I’m absolutely shocked. You wash for 10 PEOPLE already. But, why are these people so entitled to suggest, or think, or want you to do their laundry? NO WAY!


  • Whaaat?! Are they serious! I can’t even imagine the work you must have with 8 kids, and that they would have the hide to expect that of you! This is next level rude! You aren’t their servant! Next time they ask put a price tag on it for your labour- there are people out there that take on washing for extra money so why should they expect it for free?


  • I would be charging them for doing their laundry. Tell them a stay at home mum needs the extra money so she and her husband can go out while they baby sit your children. Bet it stops really quickly.


  • I have to agree with all the other comments. Also it doesn’t matter if you have nothing else to do in your day, which of course you would with eight kids, that’s none of their business. Let them leave their laundry and when they go put it out the front as is. Such rude people, it’s unbelievable!


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