14 Answers

I had undiagnosed twins. The shock dried my milk up. I was treated so badly. The comments and the looks were awful.

Do you have any kind words for this mum? MoM x

Posted by 222jodes, 1st April 2015

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  • That would be a huge shock! I’m so sorry you were treated that way.
    Lots of people can’t breastfeed for many different reasons and some just choose not to. Honestly a “fed baby” is best however you do it. I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job. Sending hugs to you and your babies x

  • It’s not like you chose to not breast feed. And it’s no one else’s business but yours! Don’t pay any attention to those that are judging you. Bottle fed babies seem to be high in numbers these days anyway

  • Wow. Why would anyone be mean. you know thats the problem. develop that tough skin!

  • you cant please everyone. at the end, you’re the one who loves your babies the best whether you breastfed them or not.

  • Well, the news you’re having twins would be a shock! I never knew shock could dry up your milk supply tho. How awful for you! Everyone else needs to mind their own business, you know what’s going on and that’s all you need to worry about

  • I had a baby at 35 wks, he was in SCU for less than 24 hrs and despite me asking to stay in hospital and that I didn’t think he was feeding properly, they said “no this is baby number 9 for you, you know what you’re doing”… I cried! In 7 days he had lost 500g and we were re-admitted to the children’s ward where they had hand foot and mouth among many other things!!!!! While he didn’t get sick, HE COULD NOT BREASTFEED! And after high blood pressure, expressing, bottle feeding and losing my supply, I finally balled my eyes out and bottle fed him formula!!!! But you know what! Best thing I ever did because he is the happiest baby, the chubbiest baby and the most content baby I’ve had in years! And I only fed numbers 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8! Nothing wrong with bottle feeding!!!!! My son was diagnosed and given the label “failure to thrive”.. Oh sweetheart, he ain’t no failure and neither am I! He is a healthy, happy, beautiful little boy who is just fine!!! Oh and midwives say, every woman can breastfeed… While that might be true, not every baby can!!!!!! Just remember that!

  • Take heart, breastfeeding can be very painful as I found out. Not the same for everyone of course but there’s no need to stress as baby formulas these days are excellent and your babies will thrive on them. I can’t believe there are still such nasty people out there who frown on you for not being able to breastfeed, truly disgusting.

  • Sweetheart you grew a PAIR of babies at once!!! You are a great mum regardless of what others think on any topic. Being a mum you will be forever judged on your choices, just stick to what you feel is right for your family, and always remember to look after yourself 1st. A crying, depressed mum is useless to her babies. And if anyone is rude enough to even hint at a judgment here’s what you say: “I physically cannot breadtfeed, the only alternative to formula is dead babies, but thank you I appreciate your concern”. If it’s coming from relatives, thank them for their willingness to help and also softy mention that you are indeed struggling and you have XYZ that you need doing at home….
    You have plenty more things to be concerned about. Be kind to yourself. Also babies cry, it’s ok:) have that shower you need to have, go outside for a breather…take it 1 day at a time& go with the flow. And I can frankly tell you it seems like they don’t grow at all when you spend everyday with them but they do and eventually it gets easier!

  • I know its easy to say, but ignore others. I still get comments about not giving birth naturally. I had 3 c-sections due to Diabetes. My babies are now grown up and almost out of the teen years. But it still irks me yet it is so stupid to let it. But people, almost always women say things like \”oh, how awful\” or \”I\’m sorry to hear that\”. I would never say anything about mums who do or don\’t breastfeed. People will say what ever they think, but remember the problem is theirs….NOT yours. Love your babies, enjoy your babies and don\’t let others opinions cloud what should be a wonderful time for you and your family. I wish you all the best,

  • The hardest part about being a mum is how other people judge you and how you feel about that judgement. Smile as you love your babies and are providing them with all the love and care they need! I have so much milk I struggle to feed my baby it makes that relationship difficult and people have all sorts of opinions on what we should do. I have taken along time to learn what people’s opinions are don’t matter I know I am right with my choices. It has taken 4 kids to understand this but I feel better knowing this now.

  • I had twins and struggled to bf them but they were supplemented from the beginning. I was left with so much confusion and anger about it. When I had my third though I had the chance to do it all again and I still struggled. But, it also gave me the chance to try my “what ifs” and see that I had done my best. At that point my perspective changed.
    No one can hurt you without your permission and I refuse to give it. I am the best mom for my boys. No one else can do what I do for them and that’s true no matter how they’re fed. You are the best mom for your kids and you’re doing a great job!

  • First off congratulations! Secondly – please don’t listen to the negative people. You do the best you can at the time and as long as those beautiful bubbas are fed and loved that’s all the matters. My first two babies (both singletons) I tried and tried to breastfeed. I was made to feel horrible and useless that I just simply couldn’t get it right. By 6 weeks with both of them I had dried up and they were on formula. They are both happy, healthy little boys. I went into a complete depression over not being able to breast feed them but now I look back and realise that they were loved, cared for and always had full bellies so who cares how they are fed! keep going mummy. Sending love and hugs to you.

  • I had always wanted to Breastfeed but I could never provide much milk and neither of my bubs latched (despite the help of numerous lactation consultants both times). But despite trying my hardest and many many tears, the midwives still made me feel like a failure. In hindsight I was almost post-natal because of it. My advice? Don’t listen to negativity .. Do what’s best for your bubs, what your body will physically let you, and whatever is best for your mental health. People who judge have obviously never been in that situation. Also, my two turned out happy, healthy, intelligent and (I think) adorable, so don’t put any added pressure on yourself with guilt or worry xx

  • I really wanted to breastfeed my first but it just didn’t work out. No latching, lots of screaming, first-time-Mum – freaked out I went and got a can of formula after 3 days of no luck. I got quite a bad response from doctors and midwives – particularly one doctor I will never forget. She was horrible (and I found out afterwards that she doesn’t even have kids). I was quite depressed at the time.

    It does pass. Be kind to yourself – you do the best you can at the time and the longer you parent the more you realise that (a) the judgmental people have their own demons and (b) the kids turn out exactly how they’re going to turn out regardless.

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