6 Answers

My little brother gets married on Friday in the UK, after postponing 12 months ago due to Covid.

We are here in Aus, and obviously cannot go again. Myself and kids were part of their bridal party, and were so excited about being a part of their big day and seeing my whole family again (I have lived in Aus for 15 yrs).

I am really struggling with not being there, and have written some words for my dad to read at the reception, but wanted to video it. I just cant get through it without blubbering.

Any tips? I can’t even watch on Zoom, they are not allowing it at the place where they are getting married.

I feel so far away, and so sad, but so undeniably happy for them, but sad again. So many emotions!

Posted by Sotomumof3, 8th July 2021

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  • I think it’s okay to let yourself feel sad – this was a huge loss. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Perhaps when they’ve got the photos back, you could look at them with your brother by Zoom – let him tell you the story of the day.

  • It’s a very hard time and he knows why you can’t be there but you can send a phone video wishing them for their day, they can send you a video of the wedding and photos.

  • I am so sorry that you cannot attend the wedding. Why not put together your own small wedding party and video it set up a small table with some food and all dress up and raise a toast to the bride and groom and send to someone that can show it at the wedding. Also do a montage of photos and put your words along the bottom.

  • Aw that’s awful that they not allow Zoom at that place ! What about calling in with a video call via WhatsApp ? I video call my family frequently via WhatsApp myself.
    I’m in a similar situation as you. My husbands parents live in Northern Ireland, I have family in the UK too and my own parents live in the Netherlands and my dad is diagnosed with lung cancer. I really want to go and hope & pray we’ll be able to travel over the Xmas holidays. We live in Australia since 12,5 years.

  • I don’t have any particular advice but I sympathise with you whole heartedly. Myself and 2 of my siblings were born in the UK and our dad and extended family all still live there. My mum and dad are still friends and travelled to the UK last march only days before the borders closed as they were going to pick up my aunt who is handicapped and bring here over here for my little brothers wedding. They had to abonded this plan and jump straight back on a plane to Australia only to arrive hours after quarantine became mandatory and at their own cost. So not only did my aunt not make it, my step-dad and youngest sibling couldnt come down from queensland and my parents had to watch via facetime sitting in quarantine. It was a heartbreaking wedding day as it was the day before sydney locked down so the wedding had to end early, half of the guests had to leave to get back to their states and when we arrived back home to queensland we had to all get tested.
    Its awful the venue isn’t letting family zoom the wedding and hopefully they change their mind on this. My parents still dressed up and got ready for the wedding and celebrated in the room, it helped a little but just let yourself essentially grieve the experience.

    I have lost a grandparent to COVID in the UK also during this time and not being able to be there was heartbreaking when we were his only remaining family its a tough experience even if its a happy or sad occasion and you can’t be there.

  • If you’re finding it too emotional to say the lovely words I’m sure you’ve written, you could possibly put together a photo montage of pictures of you with the bride and groom with the words as text overlay? Then maybe just a short video of you at the wedding waving and saying happy wedding day. That way you don’t have to say any of the emotional parts if they’re too tough to get though?

    Im sorry that you aren’t able to be with your family.

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