My son was born prem and as such I think he’s still small for his age. He’s pretty quiet and softly spoken and rarely stands up for himself. He was telling me when he wees at school, he tries to go really fast because some of the bigger kids laugh at him. I asked him what they said and he said they call him “ tiny d#ck boy” and laugh at him.He said even when he goes into the cubicle, they will look over the door or under it. He’s had a few issues before with things like this. A few times the school has tried to make him at fault because he doesn’t speak up straight away and sometimes dismiss him when he does. I just can’t believe year 3 boys ( only year 2 &3 use his toilets) are joking about stuff like that . These are 7 -9 years olds commenting on people’s “ size”. How do I address this with the school? I know as boys get older they probably talk about this stuff, but young kids! I don’t even think the school teaches about “ personal space” and body awareness and safety yet


Posted by mom41, 17th November 2019


Want more real mum questions sent to you?


Topics

Ask your question
  • I’m a teacher and unfortunately I have seen these kinds of things been dealt with poorly, esspeciaally in primary schools. Don’t let it go, be on the principle/administrations back about it! Otherwise nothing will get done. Don’t be shocked, if I told you the stuff kids do and say at such a young age you’ll be so shocked, its usually due to upbringing and lately esspecially excessive technology use, many of these kids have free reign on ipads and computers at home because their parents can’t be bothered parenting and they arn’t being monitored so they come across websites and videos that are extremely vulgar and explicit. I’m so dissapointed on your behalf that the school dealt with it like that! those kids parents need to be called and meetings need to be held, doing that kind of thing should warrant a potential suspension and ongoing behavior a expulsion! this is not minor in my book – I’d be on those kids backs in a heart beat. Speak to your childs teacher and follow up as well. Don’t let this go.


  • It’s astonishing how early this starts. Tell the school that you’ll go to the Education Directorate if they don’t take action.


  • Another suggestion might be to read some age appropriate books around puberty and how bodies change. Hopefully this may help your boy understand that all bodies are different and they change. What looks smaller now can grow and change and do amazing things later on. As part of our protective behaviours and understanding bodies I’ve already had to read “The Amazing True Story of How Babies Are Made” with my 5 year old, skipping the intercourse pages. Because of this, when someone from her class approached her to discuss inappropriate explicit material he’d seen online, she confident to come to me and was able to tell me exactly what he’d said so we could stop it occurring again. Best of luck! I hope things change for your son.


  • Oh wow! That’s not OK and school needs to be aware it’s going on. I’m sure there must be some kind of bullying policy, and if there isn’t then I’d be looking for a different school in the new year. As for what he can do himself, from experiences we’ve had recently, he needs to speak up and let the kids involved know this is not ok and he’s not going to allow it. They’ll keep doing it if they keep getting a reaction such as hiding away or looking anxious. He needs to say loudly, hopefully so a teacher can hear it, “Stop, I don’t like want your saying. It’s rude and inappropriate.” Even putting his hand up like a stop sign in front of them. We were told to role play doing it at home to get the child used to not giving the reaction they want and giving the strong. “No! Stop!” instead. He also needs to tell a teacher when it happens. I know kids don’t want to get other kids in trouble and risk losing potential friends, but this is really inappropriate and could become worse if left to go on. It almost ties into sexual abuse, and you have to wonder what the instigating child has potentially be exposed to to keep doing this. Have they been exposed to something like this themselves and school is unaware? If your child’s teacher doesn’t do anything to stop it (ours didn’t do enough the first time around), please talk to the principal and escalate the matter. Your child has a right to feel safe and Ok with his body. I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s shitty that we as parents have to build our kids up and make them tougher to deal with the mean or inappropriate comments of the world. But it will hopefully help them in the long run.


  • How awful. What a horrible situation for both you and your son. Kids are just getting crueller as time goes on. Sad really


  • I agree with the other posters.
    Also maybe get his Dad or another trusted male adult to talk with your son about penis size to reassure him that he is completely normal. Just a thought.


  • oh wow! i cant believe kids that age are doing that already!
    i would be speaking with the teacher or principal because its not ok! especially the kids looking over the door at your child using the toilet, its needs to be dealt with


  • Self confidence be strong and think positive


  • Self confidence and just ignore negative people


  • This is so sad and so inappropriate. Perhaps tell your son to reply with ‘cool story bro.’ I would definitely persist with the school and suggest to them that they have a talk to that grade about what is appropriate and what is not. Good luck.


  • This needs to be bought up with the school. They have responsilibyt too. Sorry to hear This is happening


  • I’m so sorry your son is going through this. Surely the school has a duty to stop it happening. Personally I would not stop complaining until something is done to stop it.


  • My son is very shy and a lot of the time won’t speak up.He’ll tell me and dad when he gets home, then we go to school the next day.We’ve tried encouraging him to speak up and to go find a teacher straight away, but it’s just not working. He got detention today because another boy has been calling him an ” asian princess” ( why i don’t know) and my son kicked this boys leg when they had swimming lessons today. I just feel like I’m failing and i don’t know what to do. I did go up to the school the day he told me what the boys said, but I don’t know if they actually did anything about it.


  • Oh your poor son, thats a horrible thing to deal with. I would be going to the school asap and speaking to the principal. It’s not on, and I really feel for your son. He shouldn’t have to put up with it


  • You should go and talk with school about it as its not acceptable!!!


Post an answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

What is your answer to that question?
Would you like to include a photo?

No picture uploaded yet
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.

Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join