Hello!

10 Answers

My just turned 3 year old had been pee trained and night trained for 6 months already. However I can’t for the life of me get him to stop pooping in his undies and start going in the toilet.
He says ‘I like to be stinky!’ and runs off or lays down on the floor.
We’ve tried leaving him like it for a few minutes (MCH recommendation)… the only ones who suffer are us, he doesn’t care. We’ve tried reward charts, bribery, timed ‘sitting’ on the toilet, talking about it, getting him to wash the messy undies (he finds it hilarious) etc etc.
I’m at my wits end and feeling like a failure that I can’t get this to work.
Please any and all tips would be greatly appreciated!
How long did it take your kids to decide to start going in the toilet and not their pants?
I’m just at a complete loss :(


Posted by our.little.t.house, 26th July 2019


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  • Just try to take her to the toilet after 10 to 15 min wjen she takes her any meal


  • This might sound gross but if you let him see that you are doing yours in the toilet he might “copy” you. I think my Mum told my younger brother that he was a big boy and big boys do it in the toilet.


  • First of all you’re not a failure that you can’t get this to work. Our kids develop in their own pace, trust in that. This won’t last forever, relax. For some kids it’s just scary to let go of their poo and have it flushed away in the toilet. My 5yr old has Down syndrome and has a fear for the toilet. Physically she’s quite small and her bum disappears in the toilet. A toilet insert and step can help. Using a book and an ipad on the toilet can help too for the child to relax. It can be an idea to offer the potty for a poo and empty it together when he is ready. Some parents offer a nappy for a poo till the child is ready to do it on the potty or toilet. Emptying the nappy together in the toilet can be helpful.


  • Books definately helped but it was just really a long waiting game for us as our son is very stubborn. Bribery worked sometimes but books and then he had a superhero toy that we pretended to go to the toilet so that helped to. Unfortunately you have to wait it out and he will get there in his own time.


  • Usually they don’t like the feel of poop.. maybe give him a few more months if he’s not co operational he’s not ready.


  • He will do it in his own time. Perhaps discuss the issue with a doctor.


  • my 5 1/2 year old still has trouble, luckily he is still in kinder so not a huge deal yet. We stuck a door bell on the side of the toilet that he rings once he is finished (when he remembers to get to the loo) and he has an ipad that he can have once he has done his business, that is a huge reward for him


  • He will get when he is ready. There are some great books available that may help -check your local library to see if they have any.


  • Buy him one of those special toddler seats that go on top of the toilet, when he does it in his pants, take him straight there and tell him to finish off on the special seat, tell him no one else is going to use this seat as it is so special. Keep trying and maybe try to work out what the signs are that he is about to do it and lead him gently by his hand and talk about how grown up he is now. I think it is a faze and persistence will pay off, just keep calm and try not to make too much of a fuss this just makes it worse.


  • My son struggled with this because he liked to poop standing up. It wasn’t comfortable for him to poop sitting down. We just kept tryinv until he finally got it.


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