10 Answers

So my husband will sit and scroll through facebook – while I want to talk to him, when you are driving, at dinner time, when you are trying to watch TV, when others are trying to sleep. He even stays in the car after work or going out and scrolls. The volume on the phone is so LOUD it can be heard 3 rooms away. Many friends and family have commented on how rude it is – but he doesn’t stop. When you want to have a conversation with him – he will be on his phone. His hearing is bad – but again he won’t admit it. He complains about sore eyes from so much time on computer screens for work – but still is on Facebook. To make matters worse he has a go at our 14 year old for how much time he spends on his phone. When questioned he says he isn’t on Facebook. He is on the news feed with so much crap. Help I don’t know what to do or how to stop him. Getting so very frustrated. We have even turned down the volume on the phone, but he turned it back up.

Posted anonymously, 6th May 2020

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  • Sometimes you just have to say it as it is unfortunately and hope he changes

  • I have the same issues but with my parents they act like teenagers and are always on their phones they also try to show videos and rudely interrupt everyone I think point blank conversation is the best way otherwise what can you do . All the best

  • Be direct and tell him straight out that it is rude and disrespectful – there is a time and place.

  • We have a rule, no phones at the table during dinner, they are to remain on the bench away from us. It was a rule my Pa had for me when I was younger so iv stuck with it, hubby wasn’t keen at first but he’s gotten better with it.
    It’s so super hard to get people off their phones, it’s a common occurrence in a lot of relationships (from both sides) if it gets real bad I would suggest to say to him that you want to go to a marriage counseling session, that might make him realise how serious the situation is, and if not, maybe going isn’t a bad idea to get someone else to tell him that he needs to interact. Or if absolutely worst comes to worst delete the App off his phone every night and play dumb haha

  • Sounds like he is addicted to it and it is controlling him. Ask him why it is so important that he has to be on it all the time as it is interfering with your relationship. Maybe give him a ultimatum that he spend time with you all before he it gets too late and make him promise that things are going to change as you are going to organise councillor for him if it doesn’t. Also have you checked who he is on Facebook with?

  • How about making free phone /technology weekend. All turned off and spend time together. To proof how much you missing as a family…..

  • Sometimes people need to be shown what their behaviour looks like and how it can affect others. If that was me and I couldn’t convince hubby to tone down his Facebook phone habits then I’d join him, doing what he does. I’d turn up the volume and show him just what it’s like when he does it. I might become so engrossed in my new pastime that I might forget about making dinner or doing other things and perhaps when he’s sitting in the car scrolling on his phone, I’d keep him company and sit in the car with him doing the exact same thing.

  • He’s an adult, so I hesitate to suggest this – but can you block it from his phone?

  • Needs to be setting a good example for your kids, maybe use that as a bartering tool. But make it seem likeiy was his idea.

  • That’s a hard one when he doesn’t want to admit it and even doesn’t want to hear the comments from family and friends. In general I think unless one is motivated one will not chance and chances will only come when he feels the need / experiences hinder from his habit.
    For now keep doing what you do, let him know that you miss conversations with him and try to give positive attention / catch his attention and in the same time accept his inability to chance at this point otherwise frustration is taking the overhand; a playful humoristic approach might help.

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