Hello!

My kids are old enough now and they don’t help out too much. My husband is not very helpful around the house so it makes it hard for me to get the kids to follow my lead.

I have recently started charts for them to follow with what I want them to do each day, just simple stuff pull up their bed, put their PJ’s on their bed, empty their lunch box’s and refill their drink bottles. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get the kids to help out before I have a meltdown?


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  • We always tidy up together before dinner and have the rule no dinner at the table till it’s tidied. I had to sit for a chat with my husband too and he vacuums now every night, empties the bin and he/one of the kids does the dishes in the night. What age are your kids ?


  • I think you need to take away the fun until they have done their jobs. No outside play, no tv, no ipads etc. You are the boss and what you are asking isn’t unreasonable. Sit them down and explain what the new routine will be and the consequences if they don’t follow it.


  • My son is more cheeky than my daughter. From a young age, he will help out if it benefits him. Now that he is 15 , he helps a bit more because he finds that teamwork make a better household. The simple stuff is good because the ones you have mention are their items , so maybe get them to fold their own clothes , put their shoes away etc, it will still help you heaps . Just simple tasks to make them see that it is to their benefit as well as helping mum out . My hub works 6 days so I don’t expect him to help much either .


  • Your husband is setting a very poor example for your children & you can not be expected to do everything alone!

    Keep up with your charts & offer money as an incentive.
    Don’t give your children the money directly, put it into a savings account for them for when they are older.
    At the end of each month allow the child who has done the most pick a meal for dinner of a family activity as a bonus.

    Best of luck :)


  • Watching this. I to struggle with Kids and Hubby Helping out. If I ever get sick. I think the house will fall down.


  • We bribe! It seems to be the only way we can get them to do anything. The younger ones we use treats like lollies or chocolates. Our eldest kids we use money to bribe


  • Thanks for such lovely advise


  • We have 6 kids and started to get them to help from the age of 4 and like you, it was small jobs at first. My husband is a chronic pain sufferer so is often unable to help around the house. I just can’t do it all by myself. The kids know that it is expected of them and as they range from 7 months to 14 years, they all have age appropriate chores (except the 7 month old – his job is just to make more work for us!). We don’t bribe them or pay them pocket money for this work but have sat down with them and explained that this is what is going to happen as they are part of a team. By the way…have the meltdown…it worked for me. They realise that Mum works hard for the family and deserves to be helped in any small way. Don’t give up, you too deserve help. Keep persevering with them and remember that these life skills are so important for them and their future families. All the best.


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