Hello!

My daughter is 5 years old.  Every night I have to ask her to clean her room, which almost every time ends in my daughter having a melt down.  I can help her clean (or tidy) her room and then the next day it is like bomb has exploded.  I have tried asking her nicely, reward charts, timeouts, confiscating toys or favourite things, stay in room till its clean and still she will not clean her room. Do any parents have any ideas on how to get their child to clean (or even tidy) their bedroom?


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  • I think at age 5 you probably need to do it alongside her. Make it fun. Also make sure things have a place to return to. Maybe rotate toys so you don’t have too much out at once.


  • With my son, I made it a race and kept track of his ‘best time’. Then if his room was messy again, I would say that there is ‘no way you could beat that best time’. Challenge accepted! He would want me to time him as he ran around frantically trying to clean the room faster than that last time. The standard was of course never perfect, but far better than nothing.


  • Maybe she doesn’t know how to do it herself, or just lacks the motivation. Could you model cleaning your own room and talk about the benefits of having a clean room, then show her how to clean her own room


  • I feel for you… my kids are older and still do this. But listen to everyone else. Wish I did. Start young!!


  • Five is still quite young. Try a fun and easy approach.. Make sure everything has a place. Maybe try the rule of not having anything new out until the rest is packed away. Also…..night time is when she is most tired. Maybe try cleaning up earlier in the afternoon. Then having contained playing or a craft activity in another room later.


  • i grab everything on the floor and hide it in the cupboard saying i threw it out. im also not beneath bribery lol that works a treat.


  • Honestly I just tell my children that anything left on the floor will go in the bin or I’ll give it away if they don’t clean it. Majority of the time they will listen.


  • Have a basket and puts things in that aren’t packed away. If it’s still there end of the day take the basket away. She gets the toys in the basket back when she earns it. From doing chores etc, if that doesn’t work make it fun! Hide something like a coin and tell her only way to find is by cleaning


  • I would get her to realise it’s her doing it and she is responsible for keeping it today and that you are not helping do it and don’t pick up anything and don’t let her get away with a tantrum over it. She will realise that she has to do it and if no clothes are put in the laundry then they don’t get washed and if she needed say sport uniform and she never put it in the wash then she has to tell the teacher why she doesn’t have it. Don’t be her slave and give in you have to stay strong to make it work and no friends over if not tidy and teach to vacuum as well.


  • My eldest used to sweep everything under his bed when told to clean it. Never knew because the bedspread would hide everything. When I’d done all of the washing and he said next day he had no clean underwear decided to search his room. Everything on the floor went into a bag and was thrown away (put in garage without him knowing) and he had to go to school with no underpants (I hated doing that to him but it was necessary). His room was always clean after that. Oh and the things I’d “thrown away” magically came back


  • Oh may try some of these ideas…


  • Give some rewards for doing that.


  • I learned to shut the door. My son’s room, his space. He’s responsible for it. Just shut the door. Oh, and if I can’t see the floor, I don’t vacuum it!


  • Sounds like you’ve already tried some of the methods I do. Another I do with my son who is 6 is that he’s not allowed out of his room until it’s tidy. Also, try not to keep too many toys in the bedroom, but have another area where they’re kept.


  • Not clean-put in the bag and take it away…..return things in week…month…that what is working at our home


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