16 Answers

This pregnancy is a total surprise and unplanned. I’m worried about how we’ll cope both emotionally and financially. New business, older kids still don’t sleep through and no support system. Any tips?

Posted anonymously, 24th August 2015

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  • I note this post was a couple of years ago, so I hope everything is going well for you and your family.

  • Just breathe and take one day at a time.

  • We had our third daughter 3 months ago. Our other two are 5yo & 3yo. So there is a bit of a gap between our middle daughter and our youngest (which I insisted on after having the other two only 18 months apart). Our eldest started prep this year, so our weekdays consist of getting all three girls up, fed, dressed and into the car by 8:30am for school drop off. Then repeating this process at 2:30pm for school pick-up, and fitting in bi-weekly 3yo kinder sessions, grocery shopping, housework, cooking, and the occasional social outing to prevent me going insane!! In terms of advice:
    1) I would be absolutely lost without my baby bjorn at the moment. A good quality baby carrier is the best investment (I’d even go so far as to say an absolute necessity) for parents of three or more young children, where you still need both hands free for children who are not quite old enough to be let loose when out and about!!
    2) I do a lot of my cooking & housework at night once all three girls are in bed asleep (which is generally by 7:30/8pm). The dishwasher goes on at night & is ready to be emptied in the morning. Similarly, I often put a load of washing on at night & hang the baby’s stuff on a clothes horse inside the house overnight, so that it is dried by the next day. As much of the lunchboxes is packed the night before as possible – leaving only refrigerated items & freshly made sandwiches to be thrown in at the last minute. And I have taken to either having either smoothies or something that can be prepared the night before (eg. overnight oats, baked oatmeal, chia pudding) for breakfast so that minimal time is spent cooking during the busiest part of our day.
    3) I do the majority of our shopping at Aldi, which posed a problem when the bub arrived. I have managed to maintain this by either doing it at night, once my husband is home & the girls are in bed. Or by doing it when the older two are in school/kinder and I just have the baby strapped into the baby bjorn.
    I do feel a bit sorry for our bub. She gets dragged through life and just has to deal with it. So different from when you have your first and have the luxury of setting your own routine and spending quality one-on-one time with them!! But I think that their temperament naturally gravitates towards easy-going, care free & happy on account of them having been thrust into the busyness & wonder of family life. Our daughter is an absolute delight, and yours will be too!! Best of luck with the adjustment. I will be honest and say that going from two to three has been the biggest challenge for us as parents but it is SOOOOO worth it when you get another little gift to treasure with all of your heart.

  • You are probably in shock, but you will adjust as the months go by. I wouldn’t tell you other children too soon. If they act up too much in the early stages you may have a lot of stress for the entire balance of your pregnancy and become very depressed. Having no support base will make it even more difficult for you if they do.

  • Ask for someone to talk it through with – your GP or the midwives at the hospital if you are having appointments there – they will talk to you or put you onto someone who will listen and help you work through your concerns. For me, it was my second. My first was 3 months old and when the doctor confirmed my (surprise) pregnancy I burst into tears. She was great and booked me appointment for the next day to talk to her when it had sunk in. My oldest two are now 16 and 15 (only 12.5 months apart) and number 3 is 4. It’s not always easy but if you can find someone, or a group to talk with it will help. I have an awesome online “due in” group that have helped me a lot – even though we’ve never met. Our youngest are now all 4 and we are still a source of support for each other.

  • I have 2 children. Not sure how I would cope with three ;)

  • Support from family and friends around at that time can be good. My mum is a great support to me!

  • Hope some of this advice/comments is helpful to you. Congratulations too! :)

  • It’s amazing what you can cope with when you have no choice! Just don’t sweat the small stuff or book yourself up with social appointments! Take it slow and it will fall into place!

  • My third child is now 3. He is the happiest out of all the kids, He has just fitted in and as i had two other kids under 3 when he was born. i couldnt drop every thing and run to him at the slightist cry or wimper like i did with the other kids, and it seems he is better off for it. He is happy to wait his turn and understands the others need me too as long as he gets the last cuddle at night he is happy. It is ommon belief that if you have the room in your house and car going from two to three kids is easy to do. But with having a buisness as well i really cannot advise on as im a full time stay at home mum. If you can and are not already ask around if there is a playgroup you can join at your local health nurse centre. It can offer amazing ongoing support for you.Goodluck

  • I remember feeling that way when I was pregnant with my third, but funnily enough he just fitted in with my busy lifestyle & was able to be pushed from pillar to post without any problems. Hope you are just as lucky, but don’t stress they all adapt in time.

  • Maybe join a support group or reach out to family and friends for support. Do see your GP if you are feeling depressed. Planning and being organised and having a routine is important and assists in managing the household. Most of all take a deep breath and look after yourself. Good Luck!

  • No advice as I’m still trying for number 3 but congratulations! I’m sure you’ll do fine.

  • hi i was worried about this when my third child was due.
    but the 2 older kids have been a great help.
    they helped me with the housework and helped me with the baby.
    it was much easier then when the 2 older kids were little as i had a 16 month old and a newborn.

    just take it one day at a time and take help where you can. Do you have a family member who can look after the other 2 kids sometimes so you can look after the baby easier, even just for a day or a couple of hours.

  • Im sure you will be fine and adapt if you need more you time for you and bub, maybe put the older kids one day a week in daycare .I always prepare for the next day the night before .Double up on meals and freeze some meals .Grow your own veg to save money and join facebook groups for kids buying and selling of toys ,clothes etc hope this helps :)

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