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My daughter in law has stopped me from having contact with my granddaughters, I miss them so much. I don’t think a mother understands that the love a grandmother has for her grandkids is so strong and very painful when it is taken away from you. I cry often yet there is nothing I can do. I miss them daily there smiles their laughter and especially hear them say. I love you nan xx

Do you have any suggestions to help this grandmother?


Posted by mom241861, 28th May 2018


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  • I’m wondering why your daughter in law stopped contact. In any event I would reach out to her and let her know how hurt you are by this decision and ask her if there is any way you can have some contact with your grandchildren, even if it is by Skype or phone.


  • I would speak to your son and find out his take on it, has something been said or is your daughter in law raising her children different then what you would have and has that feeling got in the way….even speak to your daughter in law….being a mum is hard and most of us are just holding on somedays.
    As a daughter in law who’s mother in law is not very interested in being involved in my children’s life it is hard….knowing that I have a fairly determined and high spirited child and she would prefer to talk and spend time with her teenage grandchild hurts…but you just learn to cope maybe that is what your daughter in law is doing.


  • My advice is to talk to your son/daughter to see what he/she thinks. Do you have contact with him? It sounds like there is a reason you aren’t in their life and maybe you need to consider why that is and make some changes.


  • You seem to have neglected to add the reason or possible reason why your DIL would cut contact. I doubt she would just cut all contact if you have previously had a good amount of it for no reason. Also if your child was not agreeable to then you would likely know about that. I think the only remedy here is communication and possibly move forward from there. If you feel it completely unjustified then perhaps seek legal advice about your rights or what not.


  • As hard as it is to answer was there anything said or something done to make your daughter in law stop contact? Sometimes being close you miss signs that she felt threatened or unhappy.
    Have you spoken to your son. Have you tried speaking to your daughter in law. There are avenues u can take to gain visitation.


  • It is a very sad situation, although there has to be a reason maybe you’ve been to pushy not respecting the kids Mother’s way of parenting? I feel from the way you’ve written a mother does not understand the love a grandparent has is a put down towards mothers, maybe you’ve said things in the past to offend your daughter in law?
    Call her up invite her out for a coffee and talk to her.


  • I also feel it’s hard to give advice when we have no idea why she has cut contact …if you have no idea why maybe a sit down and talk with her are in order.


  • It’s really hard to give advice on what you should do without knowing why your daughter in law has decided to stop contact. Such a sad situation


  • I am really sorry this has happened as being a mother I would feel the same. Could you please explain more on your circumstance as I think it is best to talk to your son first. I know from experience there are some things that inlaws can’t help much and it is up to the direct families. I have learnt that through experience. Hope you can talk to someone about your feelings and find some relief.


  • I’m sorry this has happened to you. It depends on your circumstances, what’s your relationship with your son. Why was contact cut etc. It might be best to see if there are some local support services who can help you with specific advice and counseling on how you might be able to get things sorted out. Good luck.


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