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22 Answers

year of reflection/,lockdown we are adding one more.
Now it’s happened I feel so worried and I won’t cope and feel ashamed telling anyone.
Thoughts please?


Posted by mom366100, 30th December 2020


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  • There is no shame in being worried. It would be more of a worry if you had no worries given it was not planned.


  • It’s totally your choice. If you and hubby are happy about it, no need to feel ashamed, enjoy it! It’ll probably be your last, so make the most of it


  • Please don’t feel ashamed to reach out and ask for advice and explain how you are feeling. Being a Mum is a tough gig! You will find ways to manage. We have 4 children and make it work – it’s tough. But you’ll find your own balance which helps xx


  • Dont be. I know it is hard not to value or even fear comments and remakes from family/ friends and others but it is your life and your family. God bless you.


  • The fact you are posting here for support and advice says to me that you are a great mum so please don’t be hard on yourself or feel ashamed. My sister had an unplanned for bub and he’s now thriving and fits into their family just fine. You will find ways to manage and cope.


  • No need to feel ashamed. It’s your choice! Yes you are going to worry, but you what? As mothers we just get on with things and they somehow get done. You will be fine. You already have 3, adding another to the mix won’t be life changing.


  • You will cope so don’t panic and the kids will want to help you so let them and you don’t have to explain anything to anyone about being pregnant it’s your life not theirs.


  • Don’t be concerned what anyone else thinks. You made the decision and from what it sounds like, you’re a great mum and thought this through. These may just be early jitters. Don’t be ashamed of these thoughts and feelings. If you are concerned go to your gp


  • Please don’t feel ashamed, having a baby is a blessing. Being a mother of five I know how tough it can be, but trust me you’ll cope. Going from 3 to 4 is really no different (except for needing a bigger car) and just enjoy the precious moments as they grow up way too fast.


  • Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. Your baby will certainly not be the only baby to come out of a year of lockdown. And your new addition is something to be proud of, not ashamed of.
    Feeling worried is fairly normal as adding another child does add more pressure, however, I am sure you will be able to cope and your new baby will have three siblings to play with, learn from and grow with. I have two sisters and having siblings is the best thing about my life. I love them to bits. I am sure your kids will feel the same and they will be thankful that you are giving them one more person to love.


  • Please don’t feel ashamed telling anyone. They should be excited for you as a baby is a blessing. I was in the same situation as you mid 2020 and I am due to have bubs any day now. I will have 4 children 5 and under but as long as you ask for help when you need it you will be amazing!


  • Hi there, for starters it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. If you can afford it and you want to, then go for it. I have 4 myself and admittedly my last 2 were not necessarily planned but there is no way we would change it. It can get crazy, but it’s great having a big family. Not a single other person other than you has control of your body and this is decision is made by you and your partner. If it is what you want, other people might feel the need to add their negative opinions in but just ignore them and pace yourself far away from those types of people. Good luck with it all!


  • There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, and you certainly won’t be alone in that situation.
    I think you’ll be fine with a fourth, at least nothing can surprise you anymore!!
    I agree with other comments, if you’re worried about mental health then there is a lot of support out there.
    There’s nothing wrong with asking for help if you need it, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling like you aren’t coping. We all need help, it takes a village, right?


  • You don’t have to feel ashamed telling anyone. It’s totally your decision and nothing to be ashamed of (and not anyone else’s business).


  • Congratulations on your pregnancy! The majority of people will be happy for you, I’m sure. There will always be one or two with negative or smarty pants comments. There’s not much you can do about those ones except maybe have a quick quip to come back with and cut them off. Like, “Don’t you own a tv?”. “Yeah, but this was much more fun!”, or “Yeah, but there’s only so much Netflix you can watch.” Please don’t let the negative Nancies get to you. You’ve done this three times before. You’ll manage the day to day baby stuff. And if you’re struggling mental health wise, there’s plenty of help out there. See you doctor. Tell the people who will actually be helpful, not the negative ones. You’ll be okay Mumma. You got this! <3


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