Hello!

I’ve just figured out my husband has ADHD. While I took my daughter in and it sounds like she has ADHD its clicking that he does too. All these years I thought he was an ass hole but maybe there was a chance for change, now I see this has been through out his life, his childhood and teenage years make sense now.
Sometimes when im at the end of my rope calling us quits hes reasonable and tries hard for a little while but now i dont see any light especially with at least one other child who is difficult at the best of times, a tween and a 4yo that could be the same. Im at breaking point.
He has all the signs. Doesnt know when to quit, doesn’t listen, forgets or avoids tasks, leaves huge unfinished messes, outbursts of anger, impulse controll, accident prone, unreasonable, spends whole weekends “cleaning the shed” and i see no change aside from rubbish removal, his car is chaos as is the shed but no one else can mess it up, infact he blames our employee even though hes always kept his shed the same even before our employee. He is obsessive over things like his car keys and cap and you just know life will be hell untill he finds them, easily distracted, does things inappropriate like playing when its dressing after bath time and then gets mad when the child thinks dress time is play time or hes done and the child isn’t, rips off the 4yo pants because he needs to change but gets mad when the 4yo does it to him. I had spoken about it all so many times and he continues. He runs his own business and I cant keep up with my side of the book work because he isn’t consistent with his which means no money coming in, I have to argue with him to have his part done. When I tell him why I’m shitty he will start getting defensive as if its not his fault says I’m always blaming or against him and then asks why im shitty, my response is “i just told you why”.
I’m sure he has more of a problem than just an ass i want to see someone and medicate him, hes past behaviour therapy. Im at my wits end and he’s refusing. He’s made token efforts in the past for behaviour help but has never followed through. I need help or were done. Has anyone had experience? Do I call us quits to save some of myself?


Posted anonymously, 16th November 2020


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