Hello!

It’s been beautiful 10 years since I am married. My husband works full time and I do part time 3 days a week. I have in laws and they are financially dependent on us. Every month my one fortnight worth of salary goes to them. I don’t like doing it in my emotional mind but I feel it’s our responsibility when I keep my emotions aside. Does this make me a bad wife? Is anybody else in this situation?


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  • Of course that doesn’t make you a bad wife !


  • Definitely not a bad wife, this would be really hard.


  • Its a difficult position you’re in and I think its valid you feel this way. Why would you need to financially support them?


  • I think it is fair enough to feel that way. It’s hard enough now to cover your own family costs. I guess if this was communicated to you at the start and you were aware. As long as it is a joint decision (and it is allowed to be), I think that is the best outcome.


  • Yes that is really hard and I’m going to be in a similar position. A feeling of resentment is understandable and it is important to talk about it with your husband so he is aware and hopefully appreciative. I know in some cultures it is pretty much expected that you will be supporting both sides parents because when you marry someone it’s the whole family you are joining. My current issue is that I really don’t want to go back to full time work but if the financial support is ongoing and high then I may need to which really urks me.


  • That is really tricky, I totally understand! Is there a way they can get some financial independence from you? So you get a bit of your own wage


  • You’re not a bad wife and your feelings are definitely valid.
    Like other mums have said, we don’t know why you are supporting your in laws, but just know that what you are feeling is normal and talk to your husband about it if you can.


  • No your not a bad person, it is a huge commitment.


  • I’ve not heard of giving your Inlaws an allowance. Was this a prior arrangement to getting married.


  • I don’t understand why you need to support your inlaws.


  • Why are you supporting them? It doesn’t seem fair. Can they not get a pension or Centrelink benefit?
    This is a huge sacrifice to be making.
    And no, questioning this does not make you a bad wife.


  • Tricky to answer without details of why they are your financial responsibility?


  • I would never! But I’m assuming they can’t access the pension here.


  • Why are they your financial responsibility? Why can’t they work or get a Centrelink pension. Bit rough that you have to pay for hubby’s parents


  • Your feelings are valid. Without knowing more details it’s hard to comment further but regardless of the circumstances your feelings are valid.


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