14 Answers

It’s been beautiful 10 years since I am married. My husband works full time and I do part time 3 days a week. I have in laws and they are financially dependent on us. Every month my one fortnight worth of salary goes to them. I don’t like doing it in my emotional mind but I feel it’s our responsibility when I keep my emotions aside. Does this make me a bad wife? Is anybody else in this situation?

Posted anonymously, 6th June 2022

Want more real mum questions sent to you?

You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.


Ask your question
  • You’re not a bad wife and your feelings are definitely valid.
    Like other mums have said, we don’t know why you are supporting your in laws, but just know that what you are feeling is normal and talk to your husband about it if you can.

  • No your not a bad person, it is a huge commitment.

  • I’ve not heard of giving your Inlaws an allowance. Was this a prior arrangement to getting married.

  • I don’t understand why you need to support your inlaws.

  • Why are you supporting them? It doesn’t seem fair. Can they not get a pension or Centrelink benefit?
    This is a huge sacrifice to be making.
    And no, questioning this does not make you a bad wife.

  • Tricky to answer without details of why they are your financial responsibility?

  • I would never! But I’m assuming they can’t access the pension here.

  • Why are they your financial responsibility? Why can’t they work or get a Centrelink pension. Bit rough that you have to pay for hubby’s parents

  • Your feelings are valid. Without knowing more details it’s hard to comment further but regardless of the circumstances your feelings are valid.

  • sorry to say this but i dont feel that =this is your responsibility, life is hard enough without having more dependants, especially in this financial climate.

    Is this something you could discuss with your partner?

  • Honestly can’t give any advice without knowing more details. Why aren’t they on the pension or receiving benefits? Did they not have super? Are they based overseas and this is cultural? I definitely don’t think you are a bad wife or daughter in law for not being happy with it. Was this discussed before you got married? Do your in laws own property and if so can they sell and downsize and use the profit to ease some of your burden?

  • How are they your financial responsibility? If they’re not working, why aren’t they receiving unemployment benefits, or age pension, or some other support? Perhaps you need to investigate this.

  • It is nice to help them out but not all the time not in this day and age I used to buy my parents a little grocery order every month just to help them but never money

  • Perhaps if we knew why you are supporting his parents.
    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not wanting to work to support others.it puts you in financial strain (I assume), takes away from your retirement fund, and is, at the end of the day, just unfair

Post you answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Add a photo
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating