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We have unofficially been invited to a wedding (invitations are getting printed now). I have been told by someone that babies and children are not invited, so we will need to get a babysitter from 4-10pm. I have a baby who will be 12 months at the time of the wedding (and I will still be breastfeeding) and I have never left him the whole time of his life. My hubby says if our son is not invited then we are not going. I really want to go to the wedding but cannot leave my baby. What would you do?


Posted anonymously, 3rd February 2014


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  • I don’t see you really have an option. If you want to go to the wedding, you will have to get someone to look after your baby. Or do what hubby suggests and not go


  • I’d get a babysitter. It’s good for you to get some time to yourself. Just express some milk it’s quite easy to do. Hubby and I would have the occasional date night from our kids from the time they were a few weeks old.


  • If it is a close friend , then personally tell her of this issue and that you cant go as there is no one to look after the baby . A lot of weddings are like that as the reception may not cater for children for a lot of reasons . At the end it is your choice as not everyone can afford a babysitter or find someone responsible to look after a child .


  • Will your baby be content to stay in a stroller all that time? I rather doubt it and that your baby will content to sit on your lap all that time either. It is not safe to have a baby crawling, walking or running around where food is being served. There is also the risk of your baby being injured if somebody bumps into or treads on him/her. Is it a relative or friend’s wedding. At that age you can provide your own food for your baby. Are they concerned about having to pay for catering for your baby? The place they are having the reception at may have a no children allowed policy. ultimately it is your decision.


  • Speak to the bride about your concerns.
    If you’re not ready to leave your baby yet then don’t.
    You will fret & bubby will pick up on your emotions.
    If you feel comfortable expressing milk & leaving your baby with a sitter then do it, but if you have doubts then don’t. Explain you’re feelings to the bride & if they still decide no children & you don’t want to leave your baby then just don’t go. You tried to make arrangements with the bride so you put in a effort.


  • Tactfully speak to the bride and groom about your concerns. Children at weddings is a controversial topic. The person who told you that no children are allowed may not have known all of the facts. The fact that you are breastfeeding still should be enough reason for your son to attend the wedding. Make sure you can keep him quietly entertained throughout the proceedings.


  • Go to the wedding without bub. Leave early if you have to. Or just pop home for a quick feed and check up if you can. 12 months old is old enough to be left for a little while


  • I would express some milk in the days before and get a baby sitter. Id express as much as possible and get some of those formula sample sachets just in case.
    It can be scary leaving them for the first time but it need to happen one day so enjoy it if you can.


  • Same thing has happened to us, our RSVP advised we were unable to attend and we just left it at that. It’s the Bride and Grooms decision and it’s also our decision to not attend.


  • I have been in the same situation and I was actually meant to be bridesmaid. I just simply told her that I can not make it and that she would need to find another bridesmaid. I can totally understand that children are not invited to weddings….they are not places for children. but when its your best friends wedding and you have discussed not being able to get a babysitter that weekend but could weekend before or after….then I just simply said I cannot make it


  • honestly its time to leave your baby! enjoy a date night. give yourself a break. baby will be fine


  • Ask the bride and or groom. If no then sort something out, explain the situation to bride or groom if they are that close etc they will work something out,


  • You cant expect other people to have your child at a wedding if they let you bring yours then they hve to let everyone bring theres its very normal for children not to be invited and hey go out and have a good time relax and enjoy some hubby time without kids…..


  • Find a trusted babysitter, I would even allow my mother in law!!, but seriously babies need to be left at some stage, breastmilk can be expressed and there is possibly time between the wedding and the reception that you could go to the baby, and at 12 mnths many babies are using sippy cups. I would do everything I could to attend the wedding it is not unreasonable to not have children as the cost of weddings is such that many venues charge the same for an adult as they do for a 1 year old, there is also the noise and safety factor, having a dozen or more hypo children who are bored racing around a reception venue does not make for a pleasant time. So have a trial run, enjoy some time shopping for an hour or so and it will put your mind at ease that your baby will survive without you, and then go to the wedding and enjoy an evening out with your husband.


  • this is quite the norm with weddings as many couples don’t want the screaming kids and if they say no to one family (who may have 5 kids) they take the stance to say no to all kids. remember the day is about the friend/family member and if they have invited you I think you should try to attend baby or no baby. it is hard to leave your kids but maybe there is a family member or close friend you trust who could take your child. yes you will be nervous but the longer you leave it without separating from them the harder it gets.


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