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10 Answers

Is this a usual phase for 10 year old girls or is it just bad behaviour? My daughter used to be a sweet and understanding little girl but now I don’t recognise her at all. She is sarcastic, rude and impatient most of the time. Any tips or pointers most welcome!


Posted anonymously, 22nd October 2020


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  • Yes it is normal but it is not acceptable as a full time behaviour. Continue with your rules and boundaries as much as possible.


  • kids are gunna be kids, especially girls.


  • Lots of changes in hormones around this time and kids learning that they have a say too. They’re coming into that age where they think they know everything and can’t be bossed around. Whilst it can be a part of normal behaviour it’s certainly a challenge and something to get on top of before it becomes embedded behaviour. Lots of articles out there to read on how to best manage.


  • This is certainly not normal. You need to find out if she is being bullied at school to start with. If that’s not the problem, could someone have messed with her intimately? I know it’s a scary thought but you need to find out what’s going on for both your sakes. I hope things get worked out soon for you both.


  • No this IS NOT NORMAL in a 10 year old. Go to her school and ask questions, who are her friends? Is she being Bullied? Is she a bully at school? Is she treating you and her friends the same way and her attitude towards her teacher. Kids spend a lot of time at school teachers know what might be happening to her. Pre-teenage stage I do not buy!!! Punish her for bad behaviour towards you. Say STOP when she is talking to you with bad language and attitude. Ask her if she is OK? Ask her what’s the matter and reassure her with “How can I help?” If she is going through puberty … we all did and we never abused our Mothers! So put a stop to bad behaviour or she will be a nightmare as a teenager. All the best MUM!


  • Whilst it’s normal, that doesn’t mean it’s acceptable. I appreciate our home is a safe place for my son and I am that for him too, but there’s still respect and kindness.


  • It’s certainly a normal phase, though she seems a little young for it. Have there been major changes in her life recently? Something might have triggered it.


  • “Common” pre-teen behaviour concerns include disrespectful behaviour, sibling fights, peer influence, bullying and risk-taking.
    You might find this article useful
    https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/behaviour/behaviour-questions-issues/behaviour-overview


  • I don’t know, but do hope that you haven’t been trying to be a best friend to your little girl as she has been growing up. Nastiness like what you describe seems to happen when parents try to be best friends rather than parents to their children. Best friends with children doesn’t happen until they are in their 30’s or older, but only if they were parented in the first place. Don’t know how you get out of the situation you now find yourself in though. Feel sorry for you and your daughter.


  • 10 years is a bit young for the almost inevitable teenager attitudes that can arise especially between mother and daughters. From what I’ve read most teenage daughters are trying to differentiate themselves from their mothers and that is meant to explain the nastiness that can develop. So perhaps try to give her space to be her own person (hard since she is so young and still needs you about according to laws in most states eg can’t even walk to school alone legally). If it is an early manifestation of teenage attitude the golden rule is ‘DONT TAKE IT PERSONALLY’ she just wants to find herself. Do whatever you need to cope while making sure she knows how she should be treating you and other people. If something else is causing the change then try and find that out. Either way there is a sweet vulnerable kid underneath who loves you to pieces .. although it is quite likely she isn’t going to say so for a very, very, very long time. Good luck.


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