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I have a question I’d love other opinions/advice on…. our nanny has looked after our almost-2-year-old for eight months. She adores him, does a great job, he loves her company and we feel very relaxed leaving him in her care. However, a few months back she started saying “I love you” to him which took me by surprise. It’s great she cares so much for him but something about this makes my husband I feel a bit odd. I know teachers aren’t supposed to say it to their students. What’s the protocol for nannies? Do we just ignore it and be thankful she’s a loving nanny? Is it OK for the nanny to say I love you?

Posted by Adele Thurlow 19.12.2012


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  • I agree it feels a bit too intimate – almost as though she wants to be part of the family. I honestly don’t know how you’d raise it tactfully, though.


  • If I had a nanny that cared that much for my child I’d be grateful. It is her way of expressing how she feels. I think it is a good thing. Nanny’s are more personal than babysitters or teachers. I wouldn’t worry too much.


  • How beautiful. She obviously cares for you child a lot. You should appreciate that you’ve found someone who cares so much


  • I think it’s lovely. Our kids can never have too many people loving them. But I did become concerned when you mentioned protocol and test teachers can’t say it to students. But nannies have a much closer relationship with the kids and more one on one, so maybe protocol is different


  • I agree with the responses given.


  • I think it’s ok as long as it doesn’t go too far. It’s not a bad thing to have lots of people love your kids


  • I think it’s okay, but I’d be keeping an eye out for any behaviours that might be inappropriate.


  • Up to you! There really interesting comments on this!


  • I think nannies are more personal and that’s it’s okay


  • Well there is a difference between a teacher and nanny, nannies spend more time one on one with the child so that they can form a bond, that you may not see. This can happen if your child see anyone on a regular basis. to say I love is not a bad thing. I thing you should be grateful you have such a loving nanny, you could do much worse


  • maybe he said it to her and she is just going with it! don’t worry! if it is annoying, just talk to her


  • i think its ok but would chat to her about it. its better then her hating your son lol


  • I reckon it is o.k for sure, have a chat to her about it!


  • When I first read the title I thought is the Nanny saying ‘I love you’ to you – I think it’s great that she does – as they do give support to your children to help you – kids still know that you are their parent and that you love them.


  • I’ve babysat for a long time, and I generally feel a love towards the children I babysit for. I don’t think its a problem, but its all up to you and how you feel.


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