7 Answers

My 5yo gets annoyed and angry at me for small things. EG: me opening the curtain and window in her room she will say after i have done it that she wanted to do it. She then proceeds to cry and carry on and then close it all only to reopen it. She will do this on all things if i try to help her with anything. Is she just trying to be independent or is she showing OCD signs.


Posted by mom196906, 25th January 2018


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  • I think it sounds like independence, maybe ask your child to do these jobs for you instead of just doing them yourself, my two youngest love doing their jobs, cash in now while they still like helping because my teenagers won’t do anything I ask them to


  • My little one is like this. He is 4 yrs old. Have been doing this since he was about 2. Husband and i call it OCD when discussing him. But i find its just them expressing themselves and its there way of telling you that they are capable of doing it themselves. I dont allow my little one to do it if i have already done it, but the next time i go to do something i know he wanted to do, i call him and let him do it for me.


  • It is a sign of wanting to be independent I don’t think it’s OCD at all


  • I think its too soon to see if a child has OCD as she still has a lot of growing up to do and I think in your case it might be your daughter is just an independent type ( mine started at 6) and likes to control her own room and have a say in thinking .. Maybe say to her how about next time you do it yourself and then next time let her clean her room herself . That would be good for you too in the future as my daughter now is 21 , strong and independent and won’t take crap from other people. I still make sure she shows respect for me as a mother , but at the same time I listen to her opinons too which she feels good as well. Hope it works out for you :)


  • This is really common in young kids. Basically your child is saying “I don’t need as much help as you think I do”. They’re testing the waters to see how much they can get away with, expanding their ability to be independent and generally showing you that they have a preference for certain things. This is a good thing! Independence is important as they start schooling and for everything that comes afterwards. You never know, you might have a child who posesses great leadership skills one day! Best of luck.


  • I’m a psychiatric nurse, but this doesn’t sound like OCD to me. Think this is just a normal developmental stage, where your girl seems to strive for some more independence where she doesn’t get it. Think you could help her by waiting till she asks help, before you do things for her, or otherwise ask if she wants to do these things herself before you jump into action.


  • I am not a Dr or specialist of any kind, but maybe look at other behaviours. Is it just when you do things? Does she behave the same to Dad or other family members? In her normal everyday activities does she show OCD behaviour? E.g. My daughter has to line things up perfectly, and if one item is open, all the similar items need to be open (even if not in use), or vice versa.
    Also does it affect her ability to function or learn? Can she be distracted or does it consume her thoughts until she completes her task at hand?
    If you are worried, I would recommend seeing a child health development specialist to help with any questions and what you could do.


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