Hello!

28 Answers

Number 1 is nearly 2 and a half. We are constantly finding reasons (mainly financial) to delay having number 2, not because we don’t want it but I think just to make it easier having 2 kids. My husband is a shift worked and I work full time, so sometimes I feel very overwhelmed with the prospect of 2 kids. Any pointers would be greatly appreciated.


Posted anonymously, 24th August 2020


Want more real mum questions sent to you?


You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.
Ask your question
  • I think 2-3 years is the average gap for having children. I don’t think you can ever be prepared until you bring home your second or more children. If finances are an issue and you want more kids, maybe waiting until 1 is at school before having another to save costs of full day childcare fees.


  • We have a two year old and a nine month old.
    When number two was born, number one absolutely hated it. She would wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying and look over at number two like “you’re still here it wasn’t a dream!”.
    It was quite harsh on her but she’s slowly adapted. She’s still not super fond of him and I think if she had it her way she would want to be an only child.
    My hubby is a shift worker as well and is now doing 12 hour days so it’s definitely a struggle but I’m still on mat leave until number two is one.
    I think you should just bite the bullet and go for it. It’ll be hard for awhile but you can do it!


  • You should just go with whatever feels right for you and your family. If by chance you fall pregnant when you weren’t exactly trying, take it as a positive sign. But each person is different and should do things in their own timing.
    Don’t give in to the pressure of other people telling you or asking you when you will have another.
    It’s personal and everyones situation is different, just go with whatever your heart is telling you, not what everyone else’s mouths are.


  • If you wait too long it will only get harder. There will never be the perfect time or the perfect gap. You need to take the plunge and then get back on track with finance etc later on.


  • I dont think there’s a perfect age gap. Some have kids close together so the kids are hopefully close growing up. Some like a few years between each so they can focus more on a new baby when it arrives.


  • I don’t really think there is a perfect age gap I have a 10 year old and they 6 years later I had 2 under 2 if it great to see the younger ones playing together as they are so close it age


  • We have a 3.5 year gap between 1 & 2, then a 3 year gap between 2 & 3. I love the age gaps, Im glad they are not further apart though.


  • I know a family that have 2 1/4 or 2 1/2 years between babies. It was hard when both were in nappies but in some ways it was harder when the older one started toilet training, knew she needed to go but not to the stage of “hanging on”. Of her own accord the elder one would only use the toilet and her Mum had to lift her up.


  • 20 months between mine, it’s tough so close but bubs is 10 months and it is getting bette everyday- they play together already and I think it will get so much easier


  • There is never a “perfect” time so do what you feel is best for your family. If you have baby sooner rather than later you won’t love them any less. Babies are hard work at any time and what your family looks like will be perfect for you


  • We were concerned with the whole age gap and when the right time was personally or financially.
    For many years we would discuss and plan but new events kept happening in our life that pushed our timeline out wether it be work, purchasing house, marriage and never seemed like the right time.
    We will now have a 10 year age gap and for us this works.
    You need to think if having kids closer together will be suit your lifestyle or if a few years gap will benefit you.
    I personally like that my kids will be at different stages so I can give them my undivided attention for their different needs.


  • I thought the same until I realised the older one kept each other company so she didn’t always just want me. It was much easier second time


  • it is whatever is best for your family and situation and circumstances.


  • Medical research is starting to point out that women need at least 2 years to ensure their body is fully healed from child birth and stress if that helps…research is newish but has good points


  • Is there such a thing?

    I have a 1 year and 6 day gap between my 2.. it’s tough some days but they absolutely adore each other and I’m sure they will be great friends growing up


Post you answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

Add a photo
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join