26 Answers

Number 1 is nearly 2 and a half. We are constantly finding reasons (mainly financial) to delay having number 2, not because we don’t want it but I think just to make it easier having 2 kids. My husband is a shift worked and I work full time, so sometimes I feel very overwhelmed with the prospect of 2 kids. Any pointers would be greatly appreciated.

Posted anonymously, 24th August 2020

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  • You should just go with whatever feels right for you and your family. If by chance you fall pregnant when you weren’t exactly trying, take it as a positive sign. But each person is different and should do things in their own timing.
    Don’t give in to the pressure of other people telling you or asking you when you will have another.
    It’s personal and everyones situation is different, just go with whatever your heart is telling you, not what everyone else’s mouths are.

  • If you wait too long it will only get harder. There will never be the perfect time or the perfect gap. You need to take the plunge and then get back on track with finance etc later on.

  • I dont think there’s a perfect age gap. Some have kids close together so the kids are hopefully close growing up. Some like a few years between each so they can focus more on a new baby when it arrives.

  • I don’t really think there is a perfect age gap I have a 10 year old and they 6 years later I had 2 under 2 if it great to see the younger ones playing together as they are so close it age

  • We have a 3.5 year gap between 1 & 2, then a 3 year gap between 2 & 3. I love the age gaps, Im glad they are not further apart though.

  • I know a family that have 2 1/4 or 2 1/2 years between babies. It was hard when both were in nappies but in some ways it was harder when the older one started toilet training, knew she needed to go but not to the stage of “hanging on”. Of her own accord the elder one would only use the toilet and her Mum had to lift her up.

  • 20 months between mine, it’s tough so close but bubs is 10 months and it is getting bette everyday- they play together already and I think it will get so much easier

  • There is never a “perfect” time so do what you feel is best for your family. If you have baby sooner rather than later you won’t love them any less. Babies are hard work at any time and what your family looks like will be perfect for you

  • We were concerned with the whole age gap and when the right time was personally or financially.
    For many years we would discuss and plan but new events kept happening in our life that pushed our timeline out wether it be work, purchasing house, marriage and never seemed like the right time.
    We will now have a 10 year age gap and for us this works.
    You need to think if having kids closer together will be suit your lifestyle or if a few years gap will benefit you.
    I personally like that my kids will be at different stages so I can give them my undivided attention for their different needs.

  • I thought the same until I realised the older one kept each other company so she didn’t always just want me. It was much easier second time

  • it is whatever is best for your family and situation and circumstances.

  • Medical research is starting to point out that women need at least 2 years to ensure their body is fully healed from child birth and stress if that helps…research is newish but has good points

  • Is there such a thing?

    I have a 1 year and 6 day gap between my 2.. it’s tough some days but they absolutely adore each other and I’m sure they will be great friends growing up

  • I don’t know what the perfect age would be. There is 10 years between my younger brother than myself and that worked out fine. There is also 10 years between my 2 boys but that wasn’t intentional even though they get along wonderfully. I would have had them closer together but I had multiple miscarriages. Maybe have one out of nappies before the next one is born might be a good idea.

  • I had a five year gap between mine and they got along beautifully. It was also easier to manage as one was starting school (kIndy) which left me time to concentrate on out new born.

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