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I recently attended a Hen’s Party and unknown to me they had a stripper attend. They took a hat around to everyone to help pay for it. I had already bought a present and only bought a little bit of money for the ‘after party’ to buy the Hen some drinks at the club. Is it standard behaviour to get all the guests to pay towards the stripper?


Posted anonymously, 12th August 2014


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  • It’s a first for me. I would assume the stripper would have already been paid. At the very least, you should have been forewarned


  • I would have thought it would have been pre arranged prior I never carry cash so it would have been a problem for me too


  • Oh what an awful surprise! That sort of thing should have been discussed and worked out before the event. I would be like you and only take the bare minimum amount of money, I wouldn’t have enough to donate for a stripped either


  • No of course not unless they told you before the event!


  • Also, forward planning is needed. What if there was not enough money?


  • No – it is not correct etiquette and everyone should have been informed on the invitation as they can choose to attend or not attend. Not everyone is comfortable with this form of entertainment and a hen’s night needs to be inclusive for everyone. Everyone has a different budget too and it is unkind to place people in a position of handing over money on the spot and an unfair expectation too!


  • You would think you would have been notified of this before the event!
    Not everyone goes out with a great deal of money on a hens night & some people only take their bank card.
    I would of expected to be notified by text or a call at least a week or two before the hens night. I’ve only once been asked to chip in for a stripper & I was given a months notice.


  • Gosh hens can be expensive! It’s normal to contribute to stuff, as you did with bringing money for after drinks or paying for your own meal. But fair warning is expected and the option to say no or you can’t contribute that much. Not everyone is made of expendable cash!


  • The hen should always be consulted…. then anything goes ;)


  • expecting to pay on the night is unreasonable, not everyone carries cash on them, and expenses like this should be explained on the invite, and remember not everyone wants to participate and many people may choose not to attend if they are aware of strippers being in attendance, very poor taste.


  • In my experience it’s expected to chip in – but that is made known at the time of the invite- sometimes your paying money and it made get not be for a stripper, but rather the going out after.. I think it’s in very poor taste to ask for money on the night!


  • How rude! What if you said no? Would the stripper have had to leave his top on? ;-P


  • Usually the person that organises the hens night would inform you before attending to chip in. Have not heard it done this way before where everyone last minute has to hand over money to the stripper.


  • It is normal to be told in the invite that it was going to happen.


  • yes you should get a warning to put in.


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