I would normally say connecting to family is important, but also you really need to protect your kids. I remember growing up feeling put down and laughed at by relatives and yes, it has stayed with me over the years, so definitely if you feel you need to cut things off, so be it.

Firstly, you are an amazing Sister and Mum. You have loving and pure intention of staying connected, as they are your nephews and nieces. Sadly, their Mums comments and negative behaviour toward your family and you, has swayed their opinion and treatment of your children. Out of the goodness of your heart, because you love them you invite them to your children’s parties and then they do not invite you to theirs along with the disrespectful, demeaning treatment of your eldest – I think it in what is right would be your children and protecting them. I believe whatever route you decide to take, putting your children and their needs first is priority- do not feel bad for cutting them off, you still have a piece of your brother etched in your heart something noone can ever take away. Hopefully when your nieces and nephews get older they see just how much of a loving, amazing and cool Aunty you are.

I think if you explain it to them and put in expectations around behaviours, like saying how your family likes to talk to each other an be treated. Then if they don’t abide by that they know why you don’t keep in contact.

Just because someone is family doesn’t mean you have to take their abuse. In fact it is far more hurtful when it comes from people we love and support and who are supposed to love and support us. I would speak with her first, but if the snide comments don’t stop, I would walk away.

I think she is quite nasty acting that way especially seeing as you’re the only one who has bothered to keep in contact.
I think you should call her out when you guys are alone and let her know how it’s affecting your son. If she keeps on with the behaviour after you’ve raised it then I think you should cut her out of your lives.

Shame you can’t choose your relatives. Maybe just you could keep in contact and leave your kids home. And make sure you explain to them why. Kids do better with the truth and they understand more than you think. My kids have been raised to look for the bargains with me. They wear hand me down clothes and are always excited to see what Grandma brings from her friends son who is spoiled and buys expensive stuff and throws out items that are hardly used.

Aw this is hard ! I would try to have an open conversation about this with your sister in law and how their comments impact you and your children

Your children, their lives and happiness, as well as your own are more important. Leave her and her family. Sounds like they aren’t worth the time

No, it’s your choice. But these children have obviously learnt this behaviour from their mum. Maybe just let the kids know your there for them if you need them? And just distance yourself?
Can you be honest with her and tell her how your feeling? If that doesn’t work I would definitely cut her off.