226 Answers

As Christmas cards are going out at school again, my miss 6 wants to give everyone in her class a Christmas card and a small gift which I have agreed to. But there is one little boy in her class which has bullied her all year with the most recent incident last week (which she didn’t want to go to school after) and she doesn’t want to give him a card and gift! Do I let her give everyone in her class besides him a card and gift or should I make her give him one too?

Posted by Anon, 05/12/13

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  • No, I wouldn’t. I would only be giving out cards to with small gifts for her closest friends

  • What a difficult situation. I might be inclined to give him a card and gift. He may get angrier if he’s the only one to miss out

  • Good question. My first instinct would be to not reward bad behaviour, but then I’d wonder if his bad behaviour is due to problems at home, in which case I’d want to be nice to him. Not sure really. What did you decide to do?

  • I would give him one, otherwise it may lead to more bullying :(

  • I would give him one too, hopefully even from young age, it’s better to teach inclusion and being the bigger person.

  • If she wants to leave him a card somewhere but no present .

  • Ooooo tricky!
    With him being so horrible to her I wouldn’t want to give him anything either!
    But excluding him could make the situation worse.
    Hopefully by including him he will start being a bit nicer to your daughter.
    What a sweet girl you have wanting to give everyone a card & gift, you must be very proud.

  • It could help ease the situation if she includes him. It could also make things worse if she diesnt include him. I wouldn’t want to give him anything

  • It is good reading the comments and interest to this!

  • I don’t know. If you give a card and gift to everybody in the class, in my idea it has to be to “everybody”.

  • maybe it will be good for the bully to realise that you don’t get rewarded for bad behaviour.

  • In the first year of school i think kids give to everyone its just the thing to do but as they get older they work out who their friends are and just want to give to them especially if they are attaching a candy cane to it or something.

  • My daughter only gives to those she wants to give to and I’m happy with that :D

  • I wouldn’t make her give a card to the bully.

  • I don’t believe in excluding any one person, especially a child.

    We had the same issue with a particular birthday party our DD was having, she wanted to invite all the girls bar one, we told her no – doesn’t matter if the girl is known as a trouble making and is not liked, it’s all in or none at all. She did invite the girl and of course the girl didn’t want to attend, however by sending the invite it stopped any potential upset and further conflict.

    It doesn’t hurt to teach children to extend the olive branch even if it doesn’t sit well.

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