What’s going on in your daughter’s life that has changed or is about to change? The stealing is likely to meet a psychological need that is not being met. You might need to think laterally and accept that YOU might be at fault for something (take constructive criticism from yourself to help your daughter).

So, consider… Job change, house move, school change, bullying, new sibling, losing sibling, family not living in the home changes, hunger, boredom, peer pressure.

You’ve got over a huge hurdle by your daughter admitting she’s done it, and done it in the past. That honesty is commendable.

Instead of grounding her consider joining her in a collaborative task. Set the time limit that YOU can deal with, it might be 20-30 mins per day/session and multiple days/sessions. BUT … The reason behind this is TOGETHER TIME, not necessarily about the task. You don’t have to tell her your strategy at first but the aim is to get you both talking and spending time together. It will set you up for the rougher teenage years too. I like to call it “hang time”. It could be she chops veg while you wash up. Good life skills all around.

It will probably pass as she matures and learns a different coping strategy. When it becomes a bigger issue is when adrenaline is involved and she’s doing it with friends. That rush might be hard to compete with

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Published 7th April 2020

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