197 Answers

Should I let my daughter spend extra time with her dad? I would like some advice please. My daughter 15, is at dads place for week with 2 brothers. They come back to me on friday. At dads place he lives with girlfriend and her daughter. My daughter rings to ask if she can go to birthday party at dads place on saturday for the girlfriends daughter. She is supposed to be with me during that time. My opinion is that they all live together for the week and also go to same school. So therefore had all week to celebrate the birthday and spend time together. I don’t feel its fair to take part of my weekend to have more time with dad at the party. What do others think?

Posted by anon, 23/09/13

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  • I can see why she’d want to attend the party. Could you let her stay but negotiate equivalent extra time for yourself the next week?

  • Think you should let her. It’s not about spending extra time with dad, it’s about a birthday party of a girl she likes. Your daughter is 15, when you forbid her, she could hold it against you some time.

  • You have a good point. They had all week to do something to include your daughter, they shouldn’t need to cut into your time. However, it is a birthday party, it’s not like it could have been reorganised. If it’s a one off or a rare thing, I would let dad have the extra time. As long as you didn’t have anything special planned for your time?

  • It’s a tough situation. I hope it worked out for you.

  • tough one, but if the party is really important to her, then maybe let her go and ask if she can make it up to you on a different occasion.

  • Tough one, I hope it all worked out.

  • there are some good comments here

  • Did she end up going to the party?

  • I think it’s great that she’s forming those bonds, and I let her.

  • what did you decide on?

  • I would let her go to the party – easier than having a problem. But maybe talk to her about spending an extra day shopping with you to make up for it because you love spending time with her too.

  • What did you decide to do?

  • its a birthday party and being that age they would want to go, its only one day so I hope you decide what is best for your child

  • I think it comes down to what she wants.
    Separated parents need to stop thinking of it as my time and his time. It comes down to what is best for the child. I would be happy that she wants that relationship in the first place

  • I think she is getting to the age where she can make decisions like this.

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