9 Answers

I Have a 3.5 year old girl and every time I ask her to do something she roles her eyes and doesn’t look at me. It frustrates me and then I move onto doing something else or send her to her room… I have two boys and they listen. How do I resolve this? I hope we solve this stuburness and regain a better mother daughter relationship :-)

Posted by mom95201, 30th March 2015

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  • I hope 6 months has made a big difference for you. When our Miss 3 has days like this, we try turning everything in to a game like “Who can find the most red blocks for the dish”. Another tactic is “Once we put this game away (or you put this in the bin/ other chore), we can find the play dough/bubbles/kick the ball/other fun game of their choice”. Another one is “You can’t put those books on the shelf, you’re too little”, to which I’m told “Yes I am Mummy, watch me”. (I’m careful with this one though. It works wonders with my little one because she sees it as a game and a challenge, and not as demoralising or babying or limiting. We tell her so often she is clever and a big girl and smart, and she copies our older children all the time. For this tactic, we started with “No, you don’t like ice cream”, to which we were howled down with “yes I do”, “no you can’t like ice cream only big girls like ice cream. Are you a big girl?”. “Yes I’m a big girl. I do like ice cream” and yes she got a little bit. We then moved to other things we knew how she would react – you can’t carry that to the bathroom, it’s too heavy for you. You can’t tickle Mummy, don’t you tickle Mummy, no, no, laugh, laugh, laugh, play game. Best of luck.

  • I could have written this question, Miss 3 and a half is all whatever I will do as I please. I have so many kids in my Group of mums this age and they all the same, I have been told its a Phase, its normal, you have to compromise and haggle with the ‘Three-nager’ from hell. It apparently gets better, its like in the last two months all my hard work has been undone and manners mean nothing and shes got this little gremlin inside her that when wet comes out like a ball of fire. sorry I’m not helpful oops

  • I am going through this right now with miss 3 and a super feisty attitude she has now been introduced to the naughty corner!

  • Both my boys have been through phases like that – seems to come and go – but I just try and be consistent and hold my ground on the important things.

  • Im having the same trouble now. Ive noticed that if we give her “special treat’ at the end of the week works. If shes been good, she can have it and if she has been naughty she gets nothing and has to try again the next week. If shes extremely naughty I usually take her favourite toy and she wont get it back until the next day. Good luck

  • Need to have strategies in place for consistent discipline, e.g. time out etc. Main thing is to always stay calm and in control. Letting it go just teaches her she doesn’t have to do what you say.

  • I like to use reverse psychology. “Who can clean up the most toys before the egg timer goes off?”, “Who going to get me the bubble bath for our bath’s tonight?”, “Who going to choose the books we will read tonight?” I also like to give kids a challenge. “I challenge you to find your shoes and put them away”. “I challenge you to picking up the wet towels and putting them in the bathroom”. The boys love this game. “Let’s see how fast we can clean this up”. Be a bit silly by saying.. “oh no look I can see a shoe here and a wet towel there and Not Bubble bath again!” This all create a mood and the kids don’t like being ordered around when they are tired and grumpy. Change the mood you will enjoy the kids more. Miss roll your eye’s… “Don’t roll your eyes they will fall out one day!” well that’s what my Mother told me…

  • lol, we have one of those as well (2.5 years old). Everything is “that’s mine” and “no” at the moment. Not sure if this phase ever passes. My mum says stick with consistent discipline and have keep to rules. Good luck!

  • If it’s any help, I have the same problem with my 3.5 year old. If she doesn’t like what I’m saying, or is focussed on something else, she just pretends not to hear. This seems to get worse when she’s tired. (She dropped her day sleeps at 18 months, but still REALLY needs them, especially after playgroup or kindergym). I try kneeling down so that we’re at the same level, and ask her to look me in the eye while I repeat what I have said. This works sometimes…. Any hints would be appreciated!

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