9 Answers

So I’m a bit freaked out!

I didn’t really have much to do with my dads family growing up and he hardly every spoke about it.
He left QLD and moved to Melbourne changing his name. He had previously 4 children (3 who had passed away), we never had much to do with the other sister as she was 20 years older then us. (I think the only time I meet her was when I was 4 and then again at 24). Tonight I received a message of one of my Aunties in QLD and she said she had received a message through Ancestry DNA from someone saying he’s our long loss half brother. My dad passed 7 years ago and apparently never new he existed. He’s 12 years older than myself. He’s asked her if he could contact us and I said through Facebook as my mum kinda freaked me out saying you don’t know him he could be anyone. A serial killer, con artist etc. I’m happy to start off and slowly get to know each other. But I honestly don’t know where to start! I feel extremely awkward at the best of times. If anyone else has done this would love advice as I’m so anxious and not sure how to go about it.
Sorry if I’m not making any sense

Posted anonymously, 23rd November 2021

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  • Take it slowly, thru facebook I’d a good place to start. Maybe a few phone convos when you feel a bit more confident. You could always have a few ppl round when you first meet him to help settle your nerved

  • I personally wouldn’t put them on my facebook friends list, not just yet. Maybe exchange through messenger or emails to start with. When, and if, you feel comfortable progress from there. One step at a time.

  • Think the mums here have given you some very sound advice that I couldn’t add to. Do hope all works out well for you.

  • I think you should take it slowly & if you are anxious take someone you are close to with you for reassurance. You should meet somewhere on neutral ground & hopefully you’ll be comfortable deciding if you should keep in contact. Good Luck.

  • I would be asking for a proper DNA test to confirm that he is indeed your half brother and take it slowly. Good luck!

  • Always good to talk on the phone first getting as much information of who is who and where they fit. You could meet somewhere neutral a Cafe or Pub/Club somewhere where if you want to excuse yourself at any time you can. I personally would not invite them to my house first as getting to know someone can be a better experience out in public as awkward moments can be distracted when in a public area. You are all adults and if this doesn’t feel right to you you have the right to decline a face to face meeting. Take your time.

  • Maybe you could try and retrace the roots to see if what he is saying is legit?
    I would be wary as well as there are so many scammers out there, you just never know.

  • I can imagine you’re a bit anxious about this. Starting off slowly and see what comes from it sounds wise to me. I would meet somewhere neutral to begin with, maybe go for a coffee/tea/drink somewhere and see if you feel any connection than decide if this is a contact you want to establish

  • Cant help you with advice but I hope you will find a good solution …sending lots of love

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