25 Answers

As much as I love Mothers Day its just not the same anymore since losing my Mum over 5 years ago. All you see is advertisements for buy this for mum or do this for mum for mothers day. This makes me so sad as not everyone has a mum that is still with us.

Posted by sisterhood27, 27th April 2021

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  • Do what works for you and have some ‘me time’ if you can xo

  • I used to try and cushion myself from too much Mothers’ Day exposure. My mum is in the UK and Mother’s Day is in March there, so we dont celebrate it on the same day. I used to find it difficult anyway, after trying for so long to get pregnant and being told ‘oh, you’ll never manage it, it’d be like flogging a dead horse’ (Repromed consultant and general MCP) This year Mothers’ Day coincides with my twins’ 4th birthday, so it will be a double celebration.

  • Whilst I don’t understand for Mother’s Day, I lost my dad 25 years ago. Be kind to yourself. Do what works for you and pay respect to your Mum in whatever way brings you comfort.

  • My husband lost his mother 9 years ago and he used to struggle with mothers day but he now realises its doesn’t matter that she’s no longer its a day to think about the good moments

  • I only have my Mother-In-Law now. My Mum, Step-mum and Nanna have all passed away. The last time I was able to hug my MIL was on the day of my husband’s funeral. She lives 500kms away so each year I send her a bouquet of chocolates. Not the same I know but what I do instead is go to the local hospital and visit a couple of the local residents who take the place of having a Mother at home. They are elderly and so sweet so it eases the pain a bit. Maybe visit your local aged care facility and visit the ladies there who may not have any family close to visit them on the day.

  • I hear you. I just lost my Mum a month ago, and it’s still very raw. All the Mother’s Day advertising upsets me. We don’t watch free-to-air tv, so I don’t see those ads. But I had my husband hide them all in our email. I know time will help with healing. I went through the same thing with my Dad passing nearly 7 years ago. We now do a meal that Dad would have liked for his birthday and death date, and often on Father’s Day too as my husband also likes it. In time, we’ll do something similar for my Mum, once I settle on something meaningful for her. My family are on the other side of the country, so I can’t visit the grave, but if I was I’d make sure to visit on Mother’s Day or just before to bring her flowers. I think what I’m trying to say is it’s OK to be sad and still mourn your Mum on this day, and you should try and find a way to make yourself feel close to your mum and celebrate her if you can. I know the day hurts. It’s OK to tell people around you that you’re struggling on with Mother’s Day. Good friends will understand and support you. I’ve found making these kinds of days feel meaningful in other ways helps. You don’t have to buy into the commercial crap. Make and share a meal your Mum liked. Go somewhere she liked and spend some time reflecting on her life. Watch a movie or tv show, or listen to music that you might have shared. Do what makes you feel good and helps you remember her in some way. ❤️

  • For all the mums here struggling with feelings of loss; Bless you !! XX

  • Mothers Day and Fathers Day have lost almost all meaning as both my parents have passed. In this day and age children don’t seem to regard these days as as sacrosanct as I do/did. I always give my husband a little token on Father’s day as I know his children won’t remember him. Sometimes I tear up, but mostly I just tell myself to get on with my life.

  • l lost my mother nearly 2 year’s ago Now Think of something special you & your mother use to do together & do it with a friend or a family member in honour of your mother

  • It is hard when you have lost a parent. I would do something special to remember your mum…maybe buy some flowers she used to love or make a recipe that was a fav of hers. Hold on to the precious memories.

  • You can still celebrate your mum even if she’s not with us. Or better yet, treat yourself!

  • I’m so sorry for your loss, losing a mum is so difficult. If you don’t want to celebrate you don’t have to. But you could do something to honour your mum on the day, maybe a random act of kindness? Buy a big bunch of single flowers and deliver it to the old folks home one flower to all the lady’s and say they are from your mum, or something like that.

  • Ive lost my Mum also.
    I know that Mum would be so very sad if she knew that I was sad. So I make sure that when ever I think of her Its a happy thought.
    When those special days come I do things that I know would make her happy. For instance I was in the US on holiday when it would have been Mums Birthday. That day happened to be a Sunday and my friend and I went out to a diner for breakfast. I sat and looked at the people coming in for breakfast until I spied a couple that looked around the age My Mum would have been. I spoke to the waitress and said I wanted to pay their bill. I asked her to give them a note from me but not tell them it was me. She gave them the note which explained that it was my Mums birthday and that she had passed a year before to cancer and as I couldnt take her to breakfast I was paying their bill in honour of her. They couldnt help themselves and made the waitress tell them who I was. They came over and thanked me and told me that no one had ever done anything like that for them. They were on their way to church and said that they would send up a prayer for my Mum. I thought that was so lovely.

    Another time I paid $15 of an eldery ladies groceries at the checkout. I just handed the checkout operater the money and asked her to take it off her bill. She said to the lady “This lady is paying $15 off your bill”…the elderly lady just nodded. I dont think she heard or really understood. she paid the balance of her bill and left. The female on the check out was really upset that the woman hadnt reacted and didnt thank me. I kept telling her that it didnt matter as it wasnt about that. It was about me knowing I had done something in my Mums honour. It made me feel good.

    When your turn comes to pass would you want your children to forevermore feel sad when they thought of you? I bet the answer will be no. Think on that.

  • It must be hard…how about trying to do something for yourself and try to “connect” and think about your mum…like going for bushels or something where you can sit and think about her …

  • So sorry to hear of your loss. Maybe do something special to remember and celebrate her ????

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