Any tips for moving in with the in-laws soon?
I’m worried about getting along and my daughter.


Posted by mom325275, 29th August 2019


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  • Just take things easy. Stay busy and offer help if needed.i think the less involvement the better. Focus on quality time then always being there and later on having issues. Speaking with experience here!


  • We lived with my MIL for two years and my advise is to set some boundaries before you move in. We especially found it hard to monitor how often my MIL would ‘spoil’ our son my buying him gifts and letting him eat whatever he wanted which is fine if you only do it every now and again, but not so great for every day. We also found it great to have a seperate area where we could just relax as a family and she could have her own space too.
    It was tough for me as my husband works a lot and I’m not confrontational so I let a lot of things slide which eventually got me down. We didn’t set enough ground rules before moving in and I regret that


  • We set up ground rules from day one to ensure everyone would be happy with how the house would be ran without stepping on anyone’s toes (especially with privacy and splitting bills). Good luck!


  • Communication is important and is your relationship with your partner. Boundaries may need to be established.


  • I moved in with my family (hubby and 2 girls) in with mil and sil. We all lived together for close to two years. It was very very hard. Best advice i can give you is to get out of the house as much as you can. Living with others can be hard. Good luck.


  • I had to move in with my parents when I was 40 with 2 young children & had to flee a dangerous situation, it lasted 4 months before I was at the end of my tether. Sit down & ask them how they would like to do this because it is their home so find out what your MIL would like you to do in regards to housework, cooking etc. Overstepping boundaries can create a hostile environment which is not good for anyone so it is always best to set rules/boundaries at the start. Having extra people in a home means the owner has less privacy & even things like shower times need to be worked out or someone will get a cold shower. If there is a separate lounge area ask if they would prefer you to use that or perhaps you choose to use it yrself. Create a safe word so that when someone is becoming upset over something it doesn’t have to become a big issue & it can prompt everyone to sit down & talk it out.


  • Keep the communication lines open and dry clean boundaries at the get go. It’s probably going to be difficult for your too…make sure you are honest with one another and again, keep those communication lines open. Goodluck!


  • Oh dear. I am assuming that the move is one of necessity. In-laws unilaterally deciding on moving in with us broke up my first marriage.

    I can only assume that this is something you are doing because you have to. The best advice that I can give you is to be clear about boundaries from the beginning, have a conflict resolution process and already be thinking about your exit strategy.

    Boundaries are the only way that adults can live together, and in-laws are no different. Be especially clear about any boundaries you have regarding your child and your parenting. Who does what in terms of housework and cooking, etc, is something that will come up and should be resolved from the outset.

    Managing the conflict (it will happen) is your partner’s job – his/her family, his/her job to smooth the conflict. As your partner, he/she should always have your back, and present both of you in the best possible light to each other, and help you to see each other’s points of view. You should also make it a habit to take some quiet time with your partner outside the house (a quick walk) to touch base and discuss any problems discreetly so that you can be on the same page with anything going on in the house.

    Have an exit strategy from the situation. Nothing is worse that being trapped. If this is for financial reasons, turn it around as quickly as you can and move on as quickly as you can. Everyone is happiest when they have their own space.

    Good luck to you.


  • Communication, rules, and staying calm will help with making your stay as easy as possible.


  • Depending on your relationship with your in laws you need to sit down with them before you move in to see what their ground rules are. What they expect from you and your partner and what you expect from them. Looking at it your 4 adults and a child living in a house together. Your not going to agree all the time but remember they are the ones helping you out.


  • Go in positively. Overthinking this and imaging too many issues might prompt thin nerves and lead to unnecessary snapping.
    Is it the big picture? IE saving money by moving in so better off long term then that’s great it won’t last forever.
    My learned value is mutual respect. It’s not just one side who deserves respect. It’s a two way street.
    So look out for yourself. And create time away and activities out of the house do not cabin fever setting in.


  • Depending on the relationship you have, make rules and stick to them. Always be respectable and have open communication.


  • I learnt to bite my tongue a lot. Our views on things were always different and to not cause arguments and uncomfortable living situations it was better to just say nothing at all.


  • Depending on your current relationship, I’d keep communication open, have a talk about what your both hoping to happen, and expect.


  • Boundaries rules and my own space (your own living room kitchen bedrooms and bathroom) would be a must for me. Hope your relationship with them is good. Personally I wouldn’t be able to do this, my husband neither.


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