21 Answers

I struggle making new friends. I’m not sure why. I’m very shy but over the internet I’m not. When it comes time to meet someone new I freak out. I cannot push myself to go to a mothers’ group either. I lost alot of friends due to them not having kids or not supporting me through something I had to do to save my life and protect my kids so I’m wanting to make new friends. The last friend I met online stabbed me in the back and really hurt me so I think that has something to do with it. I live south of the river in Perth

Posted anonymously, 28th May 2014

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  • Try to put yourself in a situation – such as a class – where you see the same people regularly and can get to know people a bit more gradually.

  • Online probably isn’t the most reliable way to meet people you hope to be friends. I was like you, I still am a lot of the time, but I’m getting over it by telling myself it’s not all about me. I take the focus off myself and it eases the burden

  • This is really hard. Maybe you could try finding an internet local mother’s group, make some friends through that, and THEN meet up with them.

  • I hope you’ve been able to meet new people and find some good friends.

  • I know this question was a while ago, and I really hope you’ve made some friends!
    If your worry when meeting new people is still a huge hurdle, have you thought about seeing a counsellor? They may help talk through what happens and work out some strategies with you. I’d highly recommend even a few visits! Worry is so normal but it sucks when it gets in the way of our happiness.
    Sound like you already have some insight into triggers, such as a friend backstabbing you. While not every other parent you meet will be a potential friend, some of them could become great friends!

  • This sounds very familiar to me aswell, I struggle with meeting new people, partly because I have been at home with my daughter for so long it’s like I’ve forgotten how to interact with people. I too have become estranged frm my closest friends as I was a young mum and they didn’t have children. So it was really hard and they just didn’t understand that I couldn’t drop everything to hang out etc. I have finally bit the bullet and decided I’m going to playgroup with my daughter next week and I am determined to keep going and hopefully make some new friends that way. I miss having a girlfriend to talk to.

  • It is hard putting urself out there meeting people ,a smile on ur face helps lots ,random acts of kindness & try a club that interests u or ur children.

  • Get involved in community groups or fundraisers, that way you can take your time getting to know people; and meet people in your community you never know who you might meet. And it is healthy to socialise with people face to face and not just over the internet

  • I think alot of Mummy’s get that way at a time in their lives. You spend so much time one on one with your child you begin to forget how to socialize facebook becomes the closest thing we get. Little steps at a time make it easier to get back out there.

  • This can be so very hard. Joining a club regarding a hobby (a book club, embroidery club, knitting group) can help, as it gives you something in common and means you don’t have to be social straight up – you can take a little while to get to know people before you start opening up.

  • A mother thing you can do is join a book club (for yourself) so you have something to talk about (the book) and you may make some friends this way.. Or depending on age of kids if little ones your local library has story time etc and just by going regularly you may make a friend out of it. Good luck as it can be very lonely and hard.

  • some good answers here

  • its always hard to start afresh and find new friends, when I moved I would take my kids to the park and ended up meeting some really good people, the best of luck with it

  • Oh hun I feel the same way at times I live in Qld and I’m also in the same spot as you. It’s very hard for me to make friends as well as I lost my mum last year to cancer and I just feel alone at times as well. If you need to talk I’m here to listen just look me up on Facebook hun take care love from Belinda Maher

  • Let your child make them for you. I’ve made some good friends through my child via play dates,parties etc .

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