61 Answers

My 10 month old is shy – I think it is just a phase.  He is okay being around other people but he cries when they try to hold him.  My husband’s parents live a fair distance away so don’t get to see him often.  They get quite upset when he does this and they try and fix it by taking him away from us, which makes him and me more distressed.  Just wondering if anybody else has been through this and knows any ways to help?

Posted by anon 5.03.2013

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  • I don’t think you are alone, it will pass

  • I think it’s normal for a baby to cry when being held by someone that they aren’t used to. He will adjust, I wouldn’t worry too much at this stage.

  • It’s pretty common that young babies/children don’t like to be held by unfamiliar people. I think 10 months is a bit young to be considered shy.

  • You’re right- the more you push it, the harder they resist. We also have family that live far away, so we try to Skype regularly and my sister-in-law made up a photo book of all the family members for her kids and we had photos around of family so we weren’t complete strangers to one another. It might be your son’s personality so don’t go around saying ‘it’s just a phase’ it’s better to accept whatever he is and he is only 10 months old, of course he still wants mum!

  • All bus are shy to some extent, you just have to demonstrate positive social interactions and not put the spotlight on them all the time.

  • I think your right, I think it would have just been a phase.

  • Was it just a phase?

  • Obviously the grandparents taking him away from you isn’t working as is causing more problems, I hope they have stopped that.

  • They will grow out of it, its just a comfort thing at the moment

  • hoping things are going a bit better for you now. I used to dread some visits with family because of the level of upset it would cause my daughter when she was going through the same thing

  • I went through this with my daughter, it can be hard. Maybe a quiet word to your in-laws to tell them he’s going through a stage where he gets anxious if shes too far from you and you’d prefer it if they didn’t take him away from you. What worked for us was to all sit down on the floor together and get involved in some blocks or books, so the child can relax a little bit. It will pass, with time.

  • My daughter was exactly like ths. They will grow out of it. My girl is very social now

  • Good luck and don’t worry he Will grow out of it :-)

  • It sounds like he has stranger anxiety nothing to worry about it’s just a baby milestone he needs to spend more time with them :-)

  • Don’t worry, I doubt he is shy – very hard to tell that kind of thing so early on in the piece! Sounds pretty normal to me…and I agree with the previous commenter too :)

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