13 Answers

My 7 year old daughter is very negative at the moment, she uses the word hate a lot which I forbid in our house, she says she hates everything from little bumps in the end of her school socks, a bit of hair out of place when I’ve just brushed it, I’ve put something of hers in the wrong place, if her toast is cut the wrong way. The one that really worries me is she says she doesn’t think she has a pretty face. But other times she’s extremely happy. We have a five month old baby boy but she’s never shown any hate towards him, she just can’t get enough of him. She loves going to school and does really well. She’s been getting cranky for almost the past year but the past month or two have been terrible. I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?

Posted anonymously, 16th February 2015

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  • How is your daughter doing now 6 yrs further on the line ? She must be around 13yrs old ?

  • Nothing to stress about. Must be her favourite word at the moment. It’s just a throw away comment, it will change

  • First of all have attention for what she says, ask question about what she says. Make sure to spend one on one time with her daily and let her know how special she is (this can be as little as 15 min), let her chose what to do (drawing together, a craft, lego, beads, watch a dvd together, do a puzzle together, going to a playground, or whatever). Make sure to praise her for that what she does well, use descriptive praise. Be patient and loving when you need to correct her, rather ignore then getting angry. Make sure you have plenty of hugs and kisses. Have a chat with the teacher to see if her behaviour & feelings at school are the same or different.
    Consult your Gp when you continue to be concerned and ask a referral to see a child psycholgist

  • Pretty sure most kids go through this stuff some state. Just a part of growing up. If she’s mostly happy and doing well at school there doesn’t seem to be a huge problem

  • I felt like I wrote this question myself! I have an 8 year old that is identical. Plus she’s a worrier also so anxiety plays a big part as well for which we do see a psychologist.

    Didn’t know about the hormone surge…!

  • It is very common at this age. There is a hormone surge around 6-7 years. Both my oldest son and my daughter went through it. Very argumentative, teary, lashing out at times ( a bit like I feel when I have PMT!) It didn’t last long. I also noticed that both developed body odour at the same time and couldn’t believe it, but that too was short lived and to do with he sudden surge in hormones.

  • Maybe see a paediatrician for advice if you are concerned about her behaviour; they may be able to suggest some good resources and strategies and even link you in with some groups. Children do go through phases as they develop through childhood.

  • She sounds just like my son. He is going through this some thing and I have talk to a few people and some have said it could be the beginning of hormones. We make sure that when he starts to go down this road we sit down and have a talk and that is helping. Try to use things that she likes to help calm her and also give her some quiet time so she can think about what she is doing.

  • yeah i would say make sure that she gets plenty of sleep and let her know that this behaviour is not acceptable. Maybe she doesn’t have air con in her classroom and is sick of being hot all day and therefore cranky

  • * friends are not always right! Sorry about that error

  • My daughter turns 7 in a few months and even though she doesn’t say she hates things, her attitude has changed. I put it down to testing the boundaries as I remember doing this to my parents. However, she does mention certain things at times that I really don’t like and I ask her where she has heard that or where she got that idea from and most times she will mention a friends name from school. This could be an option as to where your daughter is getting her negativity…from her friends when they talk at school.
    I just sit my daughter down and tell her what I think and that her friends are always right and that if she needs to talk to me about anything, I’m always there for her. Good luck

  • Might be that she is just really tired or something may have happened at school. Have you spoken to her teacher to see if it is happening at school as well as home?

  • Is she getting enough sleep ,this makes kids cranky .Maybe let her know it’s ok to be grumpy sometimes but not all the time .

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