15 Answers

I have a little boy who is almost 2. I work part time so my son is in daycare 3 days week and i’m now having problems with his daycare saying that he is a very active child and asking if I have had him tested. He is an only child. They are saying he can be quite nasty to other children by pushing and kicking but he doesn’t do it at home, should I be worried? He love playing outdoors and I spend alot of one on one time with him. Should I be concerned about what they daycare are saying or should they step up they game and pay more attention to children ???

Posted anonymously, 8th December 2014

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  • He could just be reacting to what’s happening to him at daycare. Two is a bit young to suspect ADD or ADHD, but it wouldn’t help to investigate

  • I wouldn’t completely dismiss what the childcare workers are saying. How long has he been going to childcare for? It could simply be a settling in issue??? That could resolve itself with time

  • He could be competing for attention at day care, being surrounded by other kids. He could just be over excited about being at child care. You might not notice this behaviour at home because there aren’t as many kids around

  • Wow, rather direct comments from the daycare! Are they a reputable organisation? If they are and the staff are suitably qualified then I’d be inclined to listen to what they are saying – they deal with many children/behaviours/learning needs and if they are professional they would kmow what they are talking about but it can be hard to listen to. If you are not happy and think it is them, maybe look at alternative centres. I assume your son isnt the only 2 yr old boy they have cared for though

  • Your story sounds almost identical to my own. My son is always either “go go go” or unconcious. His 4 now but his been like that since birth. Although I can settle him with ipad/playstation time. He hasn’t been diagnosed with anything in regards to personality however he is a chronic asthmatic and has speech problems. He constantly use to get in trouble from about 1 yr old from tackling other kids at kindy. We’ve taught him that he can only tackle whilst playing sports or playing with his brother. Maybe ask the kindy if they have implented any misbehaviour/behaviour charts for his room? They can do it for all the kids so he can see when other kids get stickers/stamps as well and how they earn’t it. It may just be a case of he doesnt like sharing or he needs incentives to improve behaviour. His only 2 though so I bleive it would be a case of “terrible 2’s” which generally start around 15 months because the child starts testing what they can get away with.


  • I would hope they provide you with more details; what precedes this supposed behaviour? more information is required of care as this behaviour is only occurring there?

  • Without knowing what the specific concerns are I can’t comment. But if you are concerned speak to your GP. However what you are describing is my son too- who is 21 months old. Active (exhaustingly so), into everything, hits and kicks other kids as he gets frustrated! Is it frustration at his own communication skills? While my little man has lots if words and a few phrases he is not really that verbal right now and gets frustrated. But he is a great problem solver- is miles ahead in development from a fine motor perspective, he can reprogram almost any device (dishwasher, washing machine) and he pulls things apart and puts them together. I guess what I’m getting at is the behaviour you describe is also normal for the age. But if you are worried take it further.

  • I guess the day care staff are reporting to you based on what they see and compare him to the children they usually deal with. Perhaps set up a meeting with them and ask them to explain their concerns. If they think he needs external testing, ask what kind of assessment they feel he may need. Perhaps there is nothing to be concerned, but if there is a concern you are better off dealing with it now and support structures can be in place before he gets to big school. If you feel concerned, go and see your family doctor who may refer you to a paediatrician, child psychologist or other person who will provide the necessary assessments. Just remember to go in with a positive attitude, this is not about you, not a judgement of your parenting but simply a stepping stone to help your child achieve his full potential. Good luck.

  • I know that some kids are more active than others (especially boys) but kids go through difficult stages too. It could be an issue with some of the other kids there, or it could be because he misses you. It could also be because he can\’t express in words what he wants so takes it out on other kids. Since he is ok with you at home but more challenging at day care, perhaps the carers should look at strategies they need to implement there, rather than say he has a problem and to test him for it. He is only 2 after all. What do they expect from a 2 year old!?
    Take note of how he behaves at home, and take note of what the carers say, but if you think he needs to get checked out take him to the GP or early childhood clinic.
    Trust your instinct.

  • I would take notice of what the daycare professionals are saying. I think your first step a check up with your GP who will know how to guide you if anything else is required. Best to sort out these issues before kinder and school where possible.

  • Two year old children are active, however the staff are trained and do notice what is not considered “normal” for each age/stage of development. You may like to ask what exactly they feel he needs to be tested for, then Google and you will have an idea of what it is that is of concern. For peace of mind, have him tested for whatever is suggested, it is better to address these concerns now rather than later.
    Often a change of diet will change behavior. Google Dr Feingold, Dr Tony Attwood and Dr Donna Gates, her Body Ecology Diet will reverse Autism.

  • Even if tested, professionals are unlikely to diagnose at his age, and especially given the behaviour is present in just one situation (judging from what you have written). Generally, behaviours need to be present in more than one setting for further investigation to be warranted. When my son started having problems at daycare, I asked them to keep a diary of his behaviour which provided us with an idea of what was leading up to the incidents and the outcome. If they are the ones wanting him tested I would put it back on them to provide further evidence as to why.

  • Is it possible your son resents the staff not being able to give him one-on-one the same as you can? Is it possible that he is because is frustrated either because he can’t comprehend all that is being said to him (some of the other children possibly aren’t speaking very clearly) or they don’t understand him and give the “wrong” answers. Could he have an ear infection and not be hearing properly. Doctors can’t detect inner ear infections with their equipment and children, even older than your son tnd not to complain about them. They only seem to complain about earache from middle ear infections. As far as I know an Inner infection has to be diagnosed by a MRI Scan. He could have glue ear which means he may only be hearing properly with one ear, or he could have it in both ears. If so it can be corrected by very quick surgery. You would take him home in a few hours.
    I know a child who had the same tendencies. At about 4 or 5 years old her eye sight was tested because she told her parents that she was seeing 2 of some things. One of her eyes turns outwards, but not constantly. It is being corrected by special glasses.
    Another thing that could be triggering behavioural issues is different foods. It could be something he is eating at daycare, something as simple as a particular fruit he doesn’t have at home. Some fruits have a higher sugar content than others, and the sugar in fruit is fructose. Some people are sensitive to “red” coloured food – tomatoes, strawberries, watermelon etc. Been down that street with a relative when she was a child and she was placid one minute, out of control the next. She loved tomatoes. Another thing that “set her off” was cheese if she ate too much of it. We had to watch she didn’t raid the fridge.
    I honestly do not know what to suggest. It could be a food sensitivity in which case is an elimination process but improvement can take a week or more to show. I would enquire what your child is eating, make sure suspect food isn’t eaten over the Christmas break and see if they notice any difference. Another thought, is it possible for you to arrange for him to stay with a family you both know for a couple of days and see whether he does the same thing there. Ask that he isn’t given one-on-one. If you have to, explain why. Be prepared to bring him early if they have problems with him.
    I hope this gives you some ideas to try. If all else fails speak to your GP.

  • If what the day care has said concerns you at all I would suggest making an appointment with his maternal child health nurse or local GP just tell them that his day care centre has brought up some concerns about your child. They will be able to give you some great advice even if it is things in his development to look out for, it is hard when it is your first and only child as you don’t know any different. My oldest child was diagnosed with autism earlier this year. I was none the wiser just always put him down to being a slower learner and that he would come around. It took other professionals speaking about there concerns with me and myself realising how far behind developmentally he actually was. Everything became clearer to me once I sat down and thought about it and let it all sink in. It was an eye opener for me when I had my second child, just how different he was to my child with ASD developmentally. Even though I was prompted about the concerns with my child I still do believe that as a parent you know your child better than anyone else so if you believe your child is nothing like the day care centre is telling you then basically go tell them to jump.

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