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18 Answers

My son seems to prefer the company of his wife’s family,, but when they need something or someone to baby sit I am the first that they contact. I don’t understand as we were such a close family. He also doesn’t not really communicate with his brother or grandparents anymore. My heart is breaking.


Posted anonymously, 10th May 2021


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  • This kind of problem always happens when after kids married. May be just talk with him because he has responsibilities of both families now.


  • Maybe sit down and have a chat with him and tell how you feel, how you are hurting.


  • He won’t know how you feel unless you tell him


  • I’m sorry you are feeling like this but you need to let him know. It’s not something you can do over the phone. Plan a day out and just tell him how you feel and see how it goes. My son’s in-laws get to see his children so much more than me but that is because of distance and their work. I hope that things change for you and soon.


  • This happened in my family too. We were a close family until my brother brought his girlfriend (now wife) home to meet us. The only time she interacted with us was when she wanted something, otherwise she would either ignore us or insult us. Speaking to my brother didn’t help as he always took her side. We hardly ever see them now. It’s sad.


  • I think he doesn’t know how you feel. How about asking him to lunch just the two of you and state exactly what you wrote here. I bet he has no clue you are feeling this way. He loves you enough to trust you with the children so does the wife. Just remind him that the Grandparents miss him too. They need to hear from him and see him a little more that they are getting on in age and one day they won’t be here. It’s very important that you make arrangements like a day out at the Zoo or Beach or a picnic in a parkland with everyone invited. If you get on with the In-laws invite them too. Make a change that you want to be included so do the including invite everyone to a BBQ or Picnic local to the family or a nice destination that suits. Tell your son you are going to plan this and don’t forget to invite the Grandparents too!


  • I think this happens alot. And with no intention. Life gets busy for everyone and we forget how long it’s been without contacting close ones.
    I also think it goes both ways… maybe your son thinks he isn’t hearing from his brother or grandparents much? So in turn doesn’t reach out


  • This sounds just like my brother in law. It started small but his wife has systematically manipulated and cut him off from all of his previous friends and family. It used to be that they would use my in laws for whatever they could get out of them. Last time they visited them the in laws were treated like garbage and accused of all sorts of things by my brother in law alluding to him having a poor childhood (in actual fact he was a spoiled brat). Now he will literally only speak to his father and my other brother in law. No one else in the whole family. It’s all about her family now.


  • Have you tried talking to him about it? I would start there and tell him how you are feeling. Maybe try and organise to have dinner once a fortnight as a family to bring back the bond a bit more


  • I would suggest having a conversation with your son. Has something happened? Is there more to it? We are estranged from my in-laws for safety reasons and more, so I appreciate it’s not always a clear cut or simple decision.


  • I know what you are saying, dear lady. I raised all of my children with affection and I have a daughter who lives in the same town as me and she prefers the company of her husband’s family and we live in the same town. My youngest son, well he lives interstate and doesn’t even bother to contact me. I feel your pain, and I know your heartaches. I give a lot of time to the daughters of my son and his wife, so I hope they will always remember me. Some families are like that. They just use you when they need you and then forget you. If you feel hurt by their actions,, then take your son aside and tell him how you feel. He needs to know and so does his selfish wife. You have a life also and you need to be cared for and respected too. I wish you peace and comfort dear lady.


  • It’s pretty simple tell your son how you feel and when he asks you for something tell him to ask the in-laws for help not you same as baby sitting l really feel for you But you are not a door mat so Don’t let your son treat you like one you might find it hard at first but you will be Proud of yourself for saying a simple word NO


  • Sorry to hear this! Maybe you can gently let him know how you’re feeling and ask him why things have changed.


  • Be honest with your son…explain you miss how close your family use to be. Organise a get to gether.


  • Sometimes it is hard sharing yourself around with both families and keeping everyone happy. He obviously trusts you though if he wants you to do the babysitting.


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