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My son’s 7th bday is coming up and we got him a cat like he has always wanted. We were keeping it as a surprise and giving it to him on his actual bday. My sister has told her 6year old after we asked her not to as her 6yr old has a tendency to ruin surprises. At school on Monday my sister’s 6yr old has told my 6yr old nd 8yr old all about the cat. After telling my sister this, she said her 6yr old must’ve looked at her phone and found out and she would talk to her child. On Tuesday at school her 6yr old has proceeded to tell my boys what colour the cat is and possibly the name, thankfully my boys don’t remember the name. We feel heartbroken that it’s no longer a surprise and are now unsure how to handle the situation with my sister and her 6yr old. I understand kids get excited and want to tell each other things like this. I just want to know are we been dramatic by feeling like our sons surprise has been ruined? And how should I handle this situation? My son knows his getting a cat now but trying hard for the cats colour, name, age etc to remain a surprise without any success. Sorry for the rant. Thanks in advance xx


Posted anonymously, 3rd June 2020


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  • What’s done is now done, but in future any surprises must be kept to yourself and your husband not shared with your family if you want to keep it a surprise for your children. Best to make the gift as good as you can and I’m sure the experience of holding the cat will remove all problems on the day.


  • The surprise is ruined :( You need to have a conversation with your sister about how she let you down in telling her kids. Of course kids of that age can’t keep a secret. But honestly he will be so excited about his gift regardless which day he found out about it!


  • I would be disappointed too! I have found a few people that I cant tell things to unfortunately its the only way I can control this sort of thing happening


  • He will be so excited. Make a game of it now. Have him guess it’s colour, gender etc or get him involved in getting ready for it.
    It’s not nice that your sister told but kids have trouble keeping secrets. You’ll know what you can trust get with now.


  • Don’t be over thinking.Sure it will be upset to you.Kids can’t keep the secrets.But your son still doesn’t know how it looks like.When touching the cat first time he will be still excited and surprised.


  • I’d be super annoyed also.
    I’d tell my sister that I’m not going to tell her anything anymore in the future because she obviously can’t keep a secret.
    I’m so sorry the surprise has been ruined. But at least you know he’ll love it when he finally gets the meet your new fur baby.


  • You’re right to be upset. I’d bluntly tell your sister that she betrayed your trust, and that you won’t be telling her things in future.


  • easy just dont tell your sister what you want to keep a surprise. I would be upset as your sister isn’t respecting your or your family.


  • I’d be devastated so you are not over reacting, your missing out on that wonderful reaction


  • Great present for any child and the kitten will be a part of your family for a long time. So the fact that the surprise got out… think how wonderful the little kids are reacting to the news. Later they will tell you as they grow up that they thought it’s a wonderful gift. Do not let your niece find out how your feeling she is a child! Your sister made a mistake and we all do. You will be laughing about this one day. Cheer up see the funny side of this story and look into the future.. seeing your son’s delight and the family enjoying your new fur baby. Happy Birthday to your son. Happy days!


  • Sure it’s a bit disappointing but don’t feel heartbroken ! It will still be a surprise and your son will be so excited to receive this gift. Let your son choose the name and maybe some accessories for the cat where nobody knows about. And yes, good lesson not to share BD surprises with your sister.


  • Don’t say anything at all to anyone that you don’t want spread around as this should be a lesson to you about your sister as she must of let the cat out of the bag. Could it be jealousy on her part or the niece wanting a cat only you can answer that. But don’t let this affect the day for your son you could tie a big balloon or bow if you have it in a box to give him make it special and if the niece comes just watch what she does but remember she is just a child who has a lot to learn.


  • That’s a pity, but it will still be an amazing surprise for him. Now you have learned that some things are better not shared.
    You will see that your son will be so excited anyway!


  • My first question has got to be “where is the cat being kept at the moment”. Secondly it won’t ruin the surprise for him because it’s what he’s wanted all along. It will just make the time stretch out a bit longer. I think next time you want to keep something a secret don’t tell anyone. I think that’s the only way it will work. Yes your sister did the wrong thing by telling her daughter but it’s not worth getting yourself upset or disappointed. Love to know how your son reacts when he gets his birthday present.


  • How disappointing, however, your son will still be rapt and excited, so all is not lost.


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