32 Answers

Has anyone else had trouble with their partners not helping around the house, or with the child? What did you do to try and get them to help out more and understand what you need? I work, he doesn’t, and I still have to come home and do all the housework and cooking etc. It’s just getting a bit ridiculous now =(

Posted by mom58527, 13th June 2014

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  • Yep, right from day dot. I make excuses for him, he’s so young, first time dad etc. he didn’t have, he works hard. So I didn’t help things and never changed

  • Your partner needs to understand that he has a part to play in the family. I hope you were able to sort this out.

  • Wow, that sounds really tough. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
    My partner works full time and I’m at home, with the toddler, bigger kids at school. Hubby helps with cooking one night a week, 1 breakfast on the weekend, he’ll help fold laundry, mows the lawn, attends after school sport and weekend sport. He helps make the beds, will vacuum if asked to.

    I think you’ll need to sit down and explain how you feel, what you expect of him, ask he feels about it and what he expects of you. You might need to both compromise on your expectations to get to a healthy reality.

  • Does he look after the kids while you work? I can understand how frustrating it must be. He also might just be exhausted and not coping as well as some other parents do with full-time house duties. Have an honest conversation and hopefully you can get on the same level.

  • He needs to consider your feelings and respect you as you have worked all day and he has not!

  • Put your foot down and insist on him helping. Having said that, I have the same problem and nothing I’ve done has changed him :/

  • That’s not good. Same problem with mine. I’ld head off to work and ask if he could do done washing. I’ld get home, washing has been started, hubby has gone visiting. He didn’t change, but I did. We’re not together anymore

  • my husband and I both work but during those difficult times I have found that the best way to resolve issues are to talk about them. Be open and don’t blame or complain just state how you feel. Good luck!

  • Being direct is the best way and dividing jobs is the best way to go too.

  • i hope that you are getting the help and support that you need from the hubby now

  • You cannot change his behavior, you can only change yours. You can stop enabling him to continue as he is. You can stop doing what you do in the home, don’t do his laundry, don’t prepare his meals, and don’t let him share your bed unless he makes the bed and cleans in the house.

    You need to talk to him and be specific in what you would like him to do in regard to the household chores and hopefully he will be on board with you. Make a list of daily, and weekly chores and he can then mark them off as he does them. Some men have been raised to do nothing but he can learn what he needs to do. You are the one working and earning so he needs to know that he has to help out and how he can help. If he does not help out it might be time for him to move out! What are you getting out of this relationship?

  • That would be so frustrating and huge burden for you. You need to sit him down and tell him how you feel, you can only do so much, not fair on you at all.

  • Talk to him and tell him that unless you can set some ground rules (start small…) you’ll stop washing his clothes and stop making him dinner etc.
    If that doesn’t work, make dinner extra delicious, baked chicken works, or his favourite… and when he smells dinner knowing he won’t be having any… well things will change, be string and consistent!
    Make sure you reign in the finances, empty the fridge of quick snacks then accidentally lose the car keys… before even attempting to talk to him about all of this, so he doesn’t know its coming… don’t give him the option to drive and get takeout.
    Worked for my lazy ex bf. Eventually i got him permanently to wash the dishes and do laundry. Conditioning my dear…
    Lucky at this moment my husband is a dream, wonder why hahah

  • I’ve been married to my hubby for just over 30 years. The first fifteen years he was going to work but also doing night school No help in those days. After he stopped nightschool he just came home and got on his computer, watched TV or went to bed. When I started work (he did cook quite a lot of dinners – 90 percent which were burnt). Being both retired since last year, he reads the newspaper from 7am to noon, has lunch, does an hours gardening andthen gets on the computer or goes to bed, until dinner time and then watches TV. Oh I forgot to say he does put the dishes in the dishwasher (a few are clean but some still have food on). Men! He also attends the footy matches on Saturday with his bother and mates. It was great when the kids were at home but now they are leaving the nest. Though I can’t be too hard on him, he is not a well man – asthma and Barrets Cancer.

  • Well, not the best answer, but i divorced him!!! I was working full time, and looking after my grandson full time as well, and he only worked part time….he would never do anything to help around the house, and when i asked, caused drama’s so i stopped asking…..even feeding the animals was too much for him….best thing i ever did and i haven’t looked back either….oh, and he is now with someone else and they have just had a baby, good luck to her i say!!!

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