15 Answers

Currently we don’t speak to my sister in law or see her since we got married because of her actions. However when we had our baby we said to my mother-in-law do not send photos of him to her, she will not be involved in his life. We then found out she was sending photos, we confronted her and her response was I only sent a few I didn’t send them all. When we know she sent lots. She said she’s his Aunty. And my husband said no she isn’t. We said if you continue to do this you will not see our son again. We then found out she sent another photo. I have only seen one photo be sent so far but it’s still a photo. The bigger issue isn’t her sending photos, its her purposely going against what we have asked.

Are we being unreasonable? I know it’s just a photo but we have said don’t send anything to her.

Posted by mom481395, 29th March 2022

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  • Some people fall apart with their family for very serious reasons. I do not think you are being unreasonable. I also think your mil should not receive nor be allowed to take may photos of your child. Or see him if she’s not careful… It might make her consider her ways

  • I’m thinking that you may need to follow through on your threat of not taking your son to your MILs. You aren’t being immature, you are setting boundaries and it is YOUR child. For someone to go against your wishes regarding your own child, is not okay. ‘Family’ does not mean that they have an automatic right to have their behaviour excused and to disrespect your wishes.

  • You are being a little unreasonable. Family is family and you should try to mend the bridge.

  • No, you are not being unreasonable. It’s about boundaries and respect for you and your family. We have had similar situations on many occasions with both my family and my in-laws. I’m now in therapy working at setting boundaries and sticking to them. My psychologist and GP are shocked at the boundary breaking that goes on in my family. It also relates to safety and abuse in our family. So we are estranged from our in-laws and move away from my family so we can manage things more easily now.

  • How frustrating to have your requests ignored. Thankfully, your husband is on your side which must make it a lot easier for you.

  • I would just stop sending photos on any medium to both of them. I admit I don’t like the thought of baby photos being on any media other that at home in an album due to the actions of others who might take a liking to the photo.

  • Maybe not send any photos to your MIL either if she is going to go against your wishes. I’m glad your husband is on your side about this as well

  • This sounds extremely immature, if you’re going to behave like this I’m sure your sister in law really doesn’t care what you do.

  • Sometimes, I just don’t understand why people can’t ‘respect’ and go with what was asked.

  • I will be very disappointed if I will find out someone is doing it.

  • If you don’t want someone in your life like your sister in law then you have the right to ask your mum in law not to share photos and she should be able to respect that.
    A girl I used to work with was a single mum, her baby daddy didn’t want anything to do with the baby when she told him about it but a few years later he requested to add her onto Facebook to try and snoop but she said she rejected it because he didn’t want anything to do with the child so I totally get their point of view!

  • It is your child. You have the right to choose who has photos. The difficulty in the digital age is once you send the photo to someone you really lose control over where it goes next. I suppose you could just not send photos at all?

  • I think you’re being entirely reasonable. There are clearly reasons why you’ve cut the Aunt out. Your wishes should be respected. If they won’t respect you about this, what else will they ignore about how you want your child treated? I’d see if you can ban her from taking photos, so she has none to send.

  • It’s definitely the principle of the thing! Ask MIL to justify her not complying with your simple request! What is ur estranged SIL doing with the pics anyway?

  • I do feel your MIL should still respect your wishes. If you sister in law isn’t apart of your lives than its like sending your baby’s photos to a stranger?! Also if she doesn’t care about you and your husband, why care about having photos of your child? Unless its just your MIL doing it on purpose.. which knowing my MIL (who is not apart of our lives because she has tried to break us up when dating, then ruin our wedding) she would do it just because we didn’t want it. So yeah I don’t think your being unreasonable.

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