Hey MoM, Im in desperate need to help a darling friend of mine who is pregnant. She already has a 19 month old son and is 12 weeks along with this pregnancy. She started showing odd signs roughly 4 weeks ago and seemed very down and depressed. It is clear to me now that she is experiencing pre-natal depression. It has …gotten extremely bad in the past 2 weeks to the point where she has stated “i cant be a mother anymore”, “take my son i dont deserve him” and “i just want to escape it all”. Before she got pregnant she was such a happy, bubbly mum. She adores her son and always puts him first but lately she wont do anything for him but the everyday things he needs (baths,nappy changes, feeding etc). She cries all the time, neglects herself, sleeps all the time, barely eats which is not good for the baby. She is aware of how shes feeling and talks to me about it which is great, shes stated being a mum is suddenly overwhelming, nothing she does seems to make her son happy, she feels like a failure, she cries for no reason and cant control it. She has also spoke to drs and refused medication as she doesnt want it to interfere with the baby. Im struggling to work out what I can do to help her and was hoping you could point me in the right direction.
Posted by anon 19.1.2013

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  • I would suggest a visit to the gp for starters. If that’s not possible and she’s refusing help, you may have to force her into help.


  • By refusing medication she could be putting her son as well as herself and the rest of her family. She could self harm and then regret it. There is some medications that don’t put the baby at any risk whatsoever if taken as directed. I think she needs counselling before she does something she may regret, the results of that can be devastating. Encourage her to focus on her little boy. At this point she is neglecting and is going to have medical problems. Does she vomit when changing some of the nappies? That may be one of the reasons she isn’t doing it. I know of one Mum who actually vomitted while changing soiled nappies and occasionally called a friend a few houses away Her babies were very close together and she had 2 in nappies when she was pregnant with number 3.


  • Wow, I’ve heard so much about post natal depression, but this is the first time I’ve heard of pre natal depression. Your poor friend!


  • Yes I hope it all worked out for her as well!


  • ask her if she is ok, and let her know you are there for a shoulder if she needs one


  • I hope it all worked out for her. Hormones can have a huge effect on emotional health. Just make sure you are there for her all the time if she will speak to you about her problems. That is a good start.


  • Have you tried the beyond blue web site? They have some great tips on helping friends suffering with depression.


  • maybe take her to see a doctor


  • Pregnancy hormones can be powerful things, your friend needs lots of support but don’t be afraid to intervening if you get too concerned. I would talk to your doctor and find out what community based assistance is available


  • If you could talk to your own doctor, maybe they could give you that much needed advice for her.


  • Did she end up getting the help she needed?


  • Encourage her to get professional help. You could also call nurse on call and they would be able to direct you to some good services


  • I hope all is okay with your friend now.


  • How is your friend now?


  • I hope you have found the right answers


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