28 Answers

My partner and I have been going out 2 years now, we have a 11 month old together and I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship.
My partner doesn’t see how he treats me. He complains about everything I seem to do. My sister is going through a hard time so she had to move in here, but my partner would rather her live on the street. So he complains about everything she does, even though she does help me out with the kids when I need it.
If I speak up about him complaining all the time he tells me I’m a horrible person for not taking his side and tells me to act like an adult about stuff. I’m not happy anymore. I don’t feel happy. I love him but what can I do? Can he get counselling to change his ways? Or should we get relationship counselling?
My daughter has picked on the way he is and said to me he is always grumpy and yells at her. He doesn’t yell but does tell her to go away a lot.

Posted anonymously, 27th May 2014

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  • Sorry you went through this and I hope it was just a stage. Have your issues been resolved ?

  • He’s obviously dealing with other issues. Usually those who complain a lot about others don’t like much about themselves.

  • I hope you were able to resolve your problem.

  • If he wasn’t like this before , something has happened or happening and he maybe experiencing depression as it is constant negativity . Maybe ask him what is really the main issue and if he wont talk maybe suggest to see a counsellor together as we all know they just love talking . ( wrong )

  • You could attempt coucling on both sides him on his own and a couple. He may be experiencing depression which is making him so negative towards everything.
    Could even work to try reconnect as a couple, go on dates to reignite that spark.

    But it’s very sad your daughter just thinks his angry all the time.

  • Relationship counselling for you both so that you can both work in the things that each other brings up. Relationships can be hard work but are so worth it if you can work though it

  • Relationship counselling is the way to go. Bring it up with him – say you want to work things out, that you want to be happy…with him. Good luck!

  • How did you go with all the advice that was given here? Hope you sorted it all out.

  • you may need to see some one to talk about it and wait until you get him alone even in bed if you have to and talk to him and do not raise your voice and address it with him and if your kids are picking up on things than it either has to get better or do what is best for your kids as you do not need them messed up.

  • sounds like you need proper counselling not just all of us giving an opinion…good luck

  • I think he needs to pull his head in. His acting like a child.
    Last year my mum was going through a hard time and she moved in with us. I would not have tolerated my partner treating her the way your partner is treating your sister.
    He sounds like he still has a lot of growing up to do. As for yelling at your daughter, you need to step in and put a stop to this.
    If your partner would rather your sister live on the street I think that shows what kind of person he really is.

  • If someone can’t offer your child the attention and respect they deserve they are probably not worthy no one should come before your children. Best of luck

  • I think you both should get some counseling because it seems like your stuck in the middle I really hope it works out good luck.

  • this is a hard one as your in the middle but i would sit both down and chatvto them together agree on rules etc till she is on her feet otherwise it will just get worse

  • I think relationship counselling might be a very good idea, as it doesn’t sound like he’s listening to you very much.

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