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My sister-in-law is having a baby and I’m not sure if I really need to buy her 1st born a present. When we had our second, nearly everyone bought our first a little gift as well as the new baby (and I don’t know why) and much like a lot of people we are low on money and I just don’t know what to do. I have some suits and a toy for bub but the other child is hard to buy for because he has so much already. Even clothes we have given for Christmas will never be worn because he has so many people buying for him. Any ideas?


Posted anonymously, 5th February 2014


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  • I think it’s nice to buy something for the older child but it’s about the gesture and can be something small like a book from Kmart or even Bubbles (for 1 dollar) or so.


  • To make it easy, I would just buy a cheap little book or game for 1st born, just a little something so he doesn’t feel left out. Maybe slip $5 in it. I wouldn’t stress too much about it thouggh


  • I’m actually surprised people bought the elder child a present – I’ve never heard of this being done. It’s nice for them to be included and I have heard the parents should get the elder child a present ‘from the baby’ to help with sibling rivalry issues/bonding/etc but I would never expect anything


  • Some people brought a small gift for our eldest when our second was born, and that was lovely, but I didn’t expect it. I was just appreciative of any gift for the new baby, and didn’t mind if there was none for the older kid. If you really feel pressured, maybe a small coloring book?


  • straight up ask what they need. my family did and they all pitched in and got a cot which converts to toddler bed (which i didn’t have with my first) and mattress. Problem solved. Maybe if you want to somewhat surprise them, let them know that they can do a baby registry and that will be a big list of items that you could pick from,and if anyone buys an item, that comes off the list, so no duplicates.


  • there are some good comments here


  • maybe just give the other one some choclate and the unborn one nappies or wipes


  • I must admit to an extent I don’t quite understand it either. I do realise it is a tough transition, but at the same time this baby will probably not have much stuff that is their own (clothes and toys will probably have already been supplied from the previous siblings birth)
    If it were me i would buy what i thought was appropriate and liked for the younger sibling, and something small for the older sibling. They won’t understand monetary value, so don’t fret about the expense, I’m sure anything to open would send them over the moon if you decide to buy something :)


  • cant go wrong with nappys .


  • I don’t think it is protocol as such but it is a lovely gesture. My daughter was 7 when her brother was born & we gave her a present from him, she also received a present from both sets of grandparents. I think it is a nice thing for family members to do but I wouldn’t worry if friends didn’t do it. A gift like a colouring book & pencils isn’t going to cost a lot & I bet she would have a great time opening it & feeling like she was still special too :)


  • It’s good to do something special for the older child to make them feel part of the celebration. It doesn’t have to be big or expensive.

    One good idea can be to go to a $2 shop and buy a small notebook and some stickers. This can be an acidity for the older child to do whilst mum is feeding the new baby.

    You could also bake a cupcake and decorate it like a birthday cake for the baby but give it to the older child. It’s a birthday for the baby but because the baby is little the big sibling will need to have the cake instead. It might not seem like much but the older child will appreciate being able to do something that the new baby can’t do


  • Just buy something small. Perhaps something to help the older child feel important


  • Perhaps buy him a special book with a lovely inscription that will last! It is nice to buy gifts for older children as a way of including them in this special time.


  • I like the idea below of a tshirt with an iron on transfer. I think it’s very special an personal


  • I gave my neice a shirt which I had ironed on a transfer that said “I’m a big sister”, I thought that was a nice idea, something they won’ already have and pretty cheap, I just got a plain tshirt, and i found the iron on transfer on ebay.


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