18 Answers

My husband and I want another child. He wants one now. I want to wait. Our daughter turns 2 July 4th, and is not potty trained. (Which family has been giving me crap about, saying I need to train her, but I just don’t feel like she’s showing signs of being ready yet) and that’s one reason I want to wait. I don’t really want two in diapers at once. But I really can understand why he wants to have one now. He’s 35. He feels that if we wait much longer, he will be too old by the time the child is in school and doing fun things. He feels he’ll be too old to get out have fun with them. Or teach then certain things. And I do kind of agree. I want to still be relatively young as they grow up too, so I can have energy to keep up with them. I’m only 25 now though, so waiting a year or 2 isn’t as big of a deal for me as it is for him, with him already being 35. I want another one, I just don’t know If I want one yet or not. Any thoughts?

Posted anonymously, 27th May 2015

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  • I love my age gap of 2y 9m. You make it work! This was posted ages ago, so i would love to know what you decided to do!

  • Do it when you feel ready, you still have plenty of time :)

  • I’ve got 3 little boys. The first two are 22 months apart and my second and third are 25 months apart. If I were to have anymore kids I would be hoping for a similar age gap. The nappy stage of life is such a short time and honestly having two in nappies is no harder than one in nappies. I use cloth and still have no issue. Also my first was over 3 when he toilet trained and number 2 is only toilet training now at nearly three. They get there in their own time, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

  • You will know when the best time is.
    Talk it over as a couple.
    Come to a decision together, & don’t forget that children are a gift. You may decide now is the time but it may take 6 months to actually fall pregnant! You may fall pregnant straight away. You can’t really plan a pregnancy, that part is up to nature. You however must decide if & when you feel your family is ready.
    Don’t stress about not being potty trained at 2! Neither of my boys were potty trained at 2! Nor was I or my siblings! All children are different & some will take longer than others. Your daughter will be potty trained when she is ready, don’t allow your family to give you a hard time! You are Mum & you know what is best for your child. You it your way & don’t tolerate any negativity.
    Best of luck :)

  • Don’t have one until you’re 100% ready or you may regret it

  • Most children are not potty trained before 2. Closer to 3 is an age when ‘most’ are showing signs, but they are all different. You know your daughter, don’t push her because of what family ‘think’ you ‘should’ be doing.

    Having had my first 2 children close together when I was 30 and 31, and my third when I was 41, I can honestly say that I don’t feel “too old” but can understand what your husband might be feeling. We have a 4 year old, 14 and 15 and I’ve just turned 46 and hubby is 51 and we are loving it. I guess what I’m saying is do what’s right for your family but don’t be “talked into” having another baby too soon if it’s not what you want – it’s your body and ultimately, your decision.

  • you know the best about the time
    its your life
    but i guess also talk to your partner about it..if you are ready or not
    and prepare your child as well by talking about ‘would you like to have another bro or sis’
    good luck

  • Talk through it as a couple. And even include your little one if she’s comprehensive. Who knows, it might even get her out of nappies sooner!

  • Wait till your gut tells you it is time. I waited till my first was 3 and I’m so glad I did. At the end of the day it’s you who has to do the lions share of the work so don’t make it hard on yourself. You are also still young you could wait 5 years or more yet. My hubby was 40 when our second came along. Never too old!

  • talk to your man and discuss it. You know what is right for you. I understand that you want to teach this child how to be more independant before you have your hands full with a newborn. Does your partner work? Will he help you out? I had 2 under 2 and it can be hard sometimes when one baby is crying for attention and you need to change/feed the newborn. I felt guilty for not having more one on one time with each child BUT in saying that, my two littlies are like partners in crime! They are best friends and rarely fight so that makes it easier. The nappy issue wasn’t too bad because they mainly poo at the same time lol And it gets easier as they get older. I wouldn’t have it any other way. :)

    My hubby is in the same age group as yours so i know how he says to have kids before he is too old but i am not ready yet and i am happy with the family that i have

  • Tough decision but definitely agree with sitting down and having a serious discussion over it and you might come to a happy middle? good luck and all the best

  • It is such an individual decision and I would suggest you and your hubby sit down when you have a quiet moment and discuss this situation. Making a list of pros and cons may help to navigate the discussion.

  • My 2 year old is potty trained during the day but her cousin 3 months older is not. Family can put a lot of pressure on you, but I think you are right to not to push potty training until she looks ready. (I started by putting our bubs on the pot right before a bath while I ran the water, and really praising them if they went). As far as another baby, you and your husband have an exciting decision ahead. I had 23 months between our oldest two, and it was delightful to watch them together and the oldest could help already. 9 extra months really makes a difference to a 2 year old, and you’ll notice not only whether or not you’re relying on nappies or undies, but their speech and mobility will be unbelievable. Potty training will happen, whether you’re ready or not.

  • You wont have two in nappies if you start trying now, but upon saying that men have much more of a fertile window that women. Don’t let people push you around though, a mothers instincts are always pretty spot on!

  • Toilet train first. 1 in nappies So much cheaper- stick to your guns- when their ready their ready

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