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“Who is the best person to have in the room when giving birth? My Mum wants to be there but I don’t think my husband is too keen on her being in there as he is the one who wants to support me – he hasn’t said it out loud but I get that feeling. Can any Mums tell me who they had in the room and if it was positive or not?” Do you have any recommendations for who should be in the birthing suite?

Posted by Jenny, 18/04/13

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  • For my first child I had hubby, a doctor, 2 midwives, and a student midwife in the room. It felt a little crowded at times but didn’t bother me. Hubby was my main support person and he was fantastic. With my second child it was just hubby and a midwife. I love my mum and we’re close but I didn’t want her at the birth of my kids. I feel that that is a special time for me and hubby <3 Its very much a personal decision, which is entirely up to you and your hubby to decide on together :)


  • It would be special to have your mum there, but this is your partners experience too – and he should have a say.


  • It is always special to have your own mum and your partner there, with the inlaws out in the waiting room for immediately after the birth


  • I only had my partner with me and it felt special to us, I love my mum but think its a place for me and my partner only. Mind you my second birth was at home so I had no choice! Not even the ambulance could make it in time!


  • I would only want my husband there it is special experience that the two of you should share.


  • maybe talk to your partner about it as you both need to feel comfortable and say that he is going to be a main person and he is not going to miss out as it is a scary and loving experience for them as well as it is all so new :)


  • i think both would be good as when you are in there it is a very over whelming experience but maybe talk to your mum and ask her to let your hubby be the main person as it is a special experience for both your hubby your mum and of course yourself :)


  • In my experience your husband will welcome your mums help after about an hr of rubbing and trying to help you. It is good to have both their to support you in this miracle about to happen


  • it is such a very personal decision and you have to be the one most comfortable with it. I was lucky it just came as a natural conclusion to us as my mother thought it was our journey and my partner wanted to be the only person there. i was happy either way and mum waited just outside the delivery room


  • This is sucha personal decision. Most importantly, YOU the mother needs to feel at ease with the decision. Those who love you will understand this, even if it takes a while for them to accept it.


  • It is a decision between you and your husband. who ever will be the most comfort to you. remember you will be fully exposed!!


  • I think your husband should have first priority. My husband wasn’t much of a help. He kept asking the nurse if I was ok, he actually thought I was dying. I think it’s good that the men see what hard work the labour actually is. My husband came out a totally different man when he got out of the labour room. Your mother could be very helpful but your partner might also want his mother so how do you decide. Ultimately it is you going to give birth so you should decide who will be able to comfort, guide and help you through this very important yet very hard time


  • Daddy needs to see how much pain Mummy goes through, I think Daddy should always be first choice and it is all part of becoming a parent.


  • I had all caesars, so was only allowed to have hubby there. Luckily with my first I had become very good friends with the student midwife that was looking after me so I felt comfortable with her, and my cousins wife was also there as she was observing surgeries at the time as part of her course!

    If I would have been able to have a regular delivery I would have liked to have hubby there, but someone as a back up just in case he wasnt able to cope. Not sure who that would have been though,


  • I had just my husband, but my mum was ‘on call’ in case it took longer than expected, or if hubby needed to go get lunch or whatever. She came in once with some food and was still supportive but not in the room all the time. It was great =)


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