50 Answers

We don’t know if we should send a Christmas card to my hubby’s brother after he insulted me after I sent him a photo of our daughter when she made her communion and confirmation. My husband said he felt he should apologise to me as it was not called for. He sent me a letter saying he wouldn’t apologise as that would mean he was giving into me and after that he didn’t send our girls gifts for their b’days or even a card! I still feel I deserve an apology as I did nothing wrong. I thought I was doing something nice as he couldn’t make it to our daughters special day. I don’t feel I deserved to be told I’m a control freak, I hurt my husband and make him sad and I force my hubby to lie to his parents, all of which are not true plus a lot of other untrue things! What should I do?

Posted anonymously, 17th December 2013

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  • Without knowing the full story, you say he called you a control freak so I’m guessing there’s more to all this then what you’ve explained here. But no, don’t bother with a card, it’s just a card…..no big deal

  • I wouldn’t send a card. I don’t think it would even bother him either way.

  • I would not send a card after that,would love to know what happen.

  • Nah, I wouldn’t bother with a card. Sounds like he’s made his mind up, I don’t think a card will change anything, he probably won’t notice if you don’t send one. Sounds as though he is being petty

  • Send him nothing!
    He is not prepared to make any effort with your family. He couldn’t even send cards for your children!
    He insulted you & hurt your feelings, you deserve an apology!
    Do not give in, stand your ground.
    Once he delivers an apology, admitting he was wrong & what he done wrong, cease all contact.
    If your hubby wants to communicate with his brother fine, that doesn’t mean you have to. I would however expect hubby to agree with you & he is probably feeling a bit humiliated his own brother would do that to you.
    This brother-in-law of yours sounds like an awful human being & your family are probably better off without him!
    I highly doubt he would appreciate your card, if he even bothered to open it.
    Do not waste your time & energy on someone who obviously doesn’t consider yours or your childs feelings. He made fun of your child! What kind of adult does something so ridiculously childish!
    Send him nothing, & buy yourself & your child a nice little gift instead, you’s deserve it.
    Good luck.

  • It is good reading the comments to this!

  • I wouldn’t bother sending a card, it seems like it wouldn’t be appreciated anyway. By the sounds of it, I don’t like him and I don’t think I would bother with him at all. Someone who gets nasty with the kids isn’t worth the hassle. That’s my opinion

  • What did you do? I would probably still send one and be the bigger person. Your husband would probably appreciate you trying.

  • i wouldnt bother and its only a christmas card anyway half the time i forget to send them to pplz i want to send them to

  • First don’t lie about anything. Tell the parents, as they may talk some sense into him. Other than that don’t send any gifts or cards until he can come to his senses.

  • i probably wouldn’t send one

  • i would not send the card

  • it cost next to nothing to send a card, it is Christmas, spread the joy

  • You never know what the future holds and tomorrow is not a given. I learnt this lesson last year when I had a health issue. Family is family and it’s not worth holding grudges. I hope you sent the card as regardless of what they did or said, it would show that you still care about family. But that’s just me and I didn’t go through what you did, so as long as you are happy with your decision, then it’s the right decision for you.

  • It’s really up to your husband to decide because it’s his brother but if you think he is going to continually put negative feelings in your household then I wouldn’t bother trying to keep him as ‘close’ family.

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