88 Answers

Hi I have a 3 month old and I am not interested in sex. I had a pretty high sex drive before I gave birth, however my husband was fearful of having sex whilst I was pregnant. This ultimately means we haven’t made love in nearly a year. Now I’m not interested at all, has any other mums experienced a drop in libido and/or had issues with pre and post natal intercourse? How do you deal with sex after childbirth? **Please be respectful with your responses.

Posted by anon, 12/06/13

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  • Hopefully after 8 years the original poster has found their mojo again :)

  • Take your time…I have low sex drive and prefer to feel safe and being cuddle than do anything else.

  • I found that I had zero sex drive while breastfeeding, assuming due to the different hormones. I just didn’t get wet (sorry for being blunt) and didn’t feel in the mood. After I finished breast feeding, we were all good again.

  • I had a lot of discharge for at least 8 weeks after my daughter’s birth and I also had a lot of internal stitches from a large second degree tear that were very painful. For this reason, it was probably about 6 months before I felt like doing anything, and even then it was still not a priority for me because it was a bit painful. I would say, for me, it was about 8 months before I was totally back to my pre-pregnancy libido.

  • It can take a few months but saying that everyone is different, so it’s nothing to worry about.

  • I am in the exact same boat. I’m 6 months pp, and my partner didn’t want to have sex while I was pregnant and I’m definitely not feeling it at the moment. Plus we don’t get much time to us and when we do I just want to relax.

  • I have had 3 kids 13 9 and 1 and a half
    My first 2 everything was as normal but my last it took a while to get back to me lockdown did not help one bit BUT I found that little things for myself helped me having a long bath doing sheet masks a small workout during the day really helped a bit of self love goes along way and it’s easy to forget that when you have kids

  • Take your time. Your body has gone through so much and will continue for the near future. Be kind to yourself but most of all, communicate with your partner so it doesn’t become a problem.

  • Your body has just been through hell giving birth so normal to not want or feel comfortable to have sex. Give body time to recover. Lack of sp too can affect wanting sex. Not feeling sexy even though you are. Just explore that when you are ready

  • Hormones are contributing factors but so is tiredness and sleeplessness and fatigue. Maybe start from scratch like a romantic dinner. Doesn’t have to finish with having sex. You can be intimate as well – kissing and stuff. =) just rekindle the fire.

  • Completely normal – perhaps try get some special time just with you and your partner to try get reacquainted. You can also take herbal supplements to try increase your libido…or try some aphrodisiacs or something that used to get your buttons working

  • Yes I was like this. Took atleast 9 months

  • i think your body just doesnt want it after having a baby. your tired and feel crappy. things will change

  • I had the same problem too :( But i was lucky that it slowly got better by itself. How did yours go now?

  • Some great advice here, I hope you found it useful.

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