25 Answers

My son is 6 years old and has asd, adhd, sensory processing and anxiety. They know how much I struggle with him on a daily basis. They believe children don’t need medication and that Autism isn’t real but an excuse.

Posted anonymously, 11th April 2021

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  • If you are anything like me, you have tried everything to avoid having to go the medication way. But in the end, if nothing changes, like it did with my son, then eventually medication may prove to be the logical way forward. I wish that we had tried it earlier and trusted the medical professionals. Even my parents had to agree that the medication provided him a level of calm and focus that he had never had before. Trust yourself and listen to the medical professionals that deal with this day in, day out.

  • You know your son better than they do. I think they should butt out or go to appointments with you and LISTEN to the specialist instead of telling you how wrong you are. I sympathise with you. Take care of yourself.

  • That is your son, and your business only. Maybe they should go to the doctor / specialist with you.

  • Ooh, as a parent of a child on the spectrum with Asperger’s i just felt my skin crawl. I have family who are not accepting of my son’s diagnosis and think he’ll get better, or I’m overprotective, etc. You know your child best and have to be the advocate/voice for him. Do what you think is best.

  • We have three out of four of those same issues (ADHD, SPD and anxiety). We have tried all kinds of behavioural ways of dealing with it, but medication is the only solution to help with Miss 6’s focus at school. My husband and his family were anti-medication. It too my husband coming to a paediatrician appointment with me and getting all the info for him to be comfortable with the decision. Unless the grandparents are playing a caring role, I don’t believe they get a yes or no choice in the decision. If they want to understand your child’s diagnosis better or have more of a role in these choices, I would suggest getting them to come along to information sessions with your local ADHD or Autism organisation. Then they can ask questions or discuss concerns with the experts. When my daughter was diagnosed for example, we attended behavioural and self-care info sessions with ADHD WA. They were helpful to put the diagnosis info a more positive light and gave us some helpful coping strategies for the whole family to manage.

  • Could you take them to a parents meeting where info is given , or to an appointment with your son pediatrician or therapists ? Alternatively when they continue judging and pressuring you with their opinion, I would take some distance and stop talking with them about it. And no, grandparents don’t have a say in your child’s medication.

  • I’m a parent of two teenage daughters who both have asd, one has severe asd with adhd and is non verbal, the other has anxiety and struggles in public, my family thought they knew it all as one was a teacher, one read a bit about it, and another just passed it off as rubbish. There are videos on you tube that show what it is like for a person with asd when they go shopping, it is a visual of what they might see and it’s quite interesting. At the end of the day no matter what we say all parents think they know better as they’ve been parents longer, unfortunately some select few refuse to accept it, all you can do is ignore, agree to disagree and remember the most important thing, your child loves you for helping them everyday, and the world doesn’t need for our babies to change or be ignored, the world needs to change to accept disability. I’m also disabled myself so just in case anyone thinks I don’t know what I’m talking about, I don’t as each family and individual is different, I try my best and honey you sound like you’re doing great you are their advocate for life!! Chin up!! Believe in yourself and your baby!!

  • I would get them to drive you to the next appointment with your child’s doctors and come in and listen to what the doctor has to say. Most grandparents believe the doctor’s word is sacrosanct as that is the way they have been brought up. It might alleviate all your problems.

  • Unless they have a medical degree, I would be politely telling them that you will be following the medical advice of the professionals. They are well within their rights to not agree with your choices, but they need to keep that information to themselves. If your child was diabetic, you wouldn’t withhold insulin due to another person’s opinion. Why should your son’s condition be any different?!

  • This would be difficult to deal with. Maybe you could print out some medical info on this to teach them abit more about it. Good luck and I hope they will learn to understand.

  • I think its they way old generations thinks….sending you lots of love

  • Wow, sounds like a difficult situation and might be hard getting them to change that old fashioned mindset. However, maybe you could make an appointment with a specialist and invite them along so they can hear the opinion of a professional and maybe then they’d understand.

  • My child has selected mutism and people think there is nothing wrong with her as she is highly intelligent she doesn’t take any medication at all But you know what is best for your child don’t listen to anyone else that isn’t a doctor you know what is best for your child

  • No your child, your choice. You do what you feel is right

  • Just ignore them. They should have no say in his treatment, including medication. And if they’re not helpful or supportive, perhaps minimise the time you spend with them.

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